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don't flop - jefferson price vs caustic lyrics
[round 1: jefferson price]
so i’m up on the big stage, on my international st–z
that’s a long time coming, so congratulations to me
only took 15 battles i’ve had in this league
it’s about f-cking time, eurgh, i was getting a cramp in my knees
so it’s a battle that no one wanted, haha, let’s try to make it a cl-ssic
cause mr. i don’t take a challenge, finally takes a challenge
but if you thinking of repeating that performance from last time
you’re gonna need more than a border to stop you from flatline
this f-cking donna got denied from toronto on weapons charges
you ain’t trying to k!ll nothing
you a big puff, you softer than pill popping with phil collins
he thinks he’s on the edge and loving virtue like an extreme casablanca
but he just sat in the corner gurning like hector salamanca!
so what? we supposed to believe you f-cking rambo holding chrome there, please
tell me you throwing ak’s over them shoulder blades, i’m like, “bro don’t make me crazy.”
just cause you can’t fill in simple paper work, don’t blame me
he could be diggin’ in the crates he still wouldn’t show a.g
plus the last time you were in london, your b-tch didn’t know where she was staying or splitting
plus i heard your boy stacks got married, it’s a f-cking shame that he did it
least now that crew that you repping has a name that is fitting
team hockey, perfect, you just get played by women
and you can suck a ten inch long d-ck if you think i’m backing down, a c-ck steak
you’re more likely see an al-qaeda application from sandi toksvig!
you more likely see jim halpert from out of the office
welcoming julian -ssange to the house of commons
but like every mc that steps to me, he’ll say it’s a blessing he accepted me
see i should be indebted that you would ever spend a second to set this test for me
but getting on a jet from the west is an eleven hour step at least
and that’s exceptional measure to level with someone not worth a breath you breathe
so whatever b, if it’s clever schemes you telling me then you set yourself up for jeopardy
i’m jeffy p, the general of germany smelling of gelling cream
that’s why i hedge bets he’d never suspect, i’ll sever deez
i’m from the 70’s that’s why my side parting and quick styling
for women [?] collecting c’s i mean
you’re about [?] blatant intelligence and working these battles leagues
as i am for well…stage presence and personality
you’ve been on that same soapbox since ’09 and i still find it obnoxious
you’re inclined to critique blindly with no real kind of options
i mean, they tell you you have ill lines, so how can you k!ll time and props when
you don’t know if you’re the black or the white guy in the ill mind of hopsin?
[round 1: caustic]
i said comparing me to walter salamanca is just lame
cause if you ever hustled a day in your life you’d know that’s just part of the game
heard your girl calls you d-ck “breaking bad” cause you got a small business crank
so she hid you from her family like walt did to hank
i said i’m back in london
you don’t even gotta ask why
all i know is this skinny motherf-cker right here better act right
oh you jefferson right?
you don’t wanna be that guy
motherf-cker about to get raped in front of everybody he knows…yep, that guy
if he wins this battle, he’s gonna celebrate
act like a total f-ggot
if i win this battle…who gives a sh-t that’s what’s suppose to happen
i was sitting in baggage claim and it dawned on me that there’s no way this man is straight
i mean, godd-mn, you’re g-y you act like such a f-cking f-ggot j
you’re what would happen if g-y dudes could have babies the old fashioned way
i said i bet you didn’t know that i know that you used to be called “digga”
but nah digga when i start busting rhymes (busta rhymes) you lost digga
don’t make me flipmodes to prove that you all filler
just cause you rap like a b-tch don’t mean that you raw (rah) digga
i said he can’t f-ck his fat lady cause his little d-ck be slipping out
it’s funny that they call you “digga” when you can’t properly dig her out
he’s insecure about his d-ck so he constantly lives in doubt
his girl’s p-ssy is like the white house
no bush and there’s a black guy in it now
i said every time she sees a black dude she gets moist
plus that p-ssy holes deeper than dekay’s voice
yo i will grab your bird and f-ck the hole in her face
then afterwards be like, “check it ho i need sp-ce.”
the b-tch had the nerve to tell me she loved me, like 30 times
i said, “b-tch i need sp-ce” like mr. 13’s eyes
i’m a street fighter like sonny chiba, dragon that don’t die
i’ll e honda slap him, i’ll smack him on both eyes
hadouken flash, kick him, i’ll f-cking tacking him to clothes lines
zangief pile driver be cracking your whole spine
my defense style is guile so i take no damage from those lines
he starts talking stupid, i sonic boom him, i’ve been holding back the whole time
[round 2: jefferson price]
yo, you wanted to battle mark grist, try to jump on that band wagon
but i doubt you’d see two million views from teacher vs random snap back f-ggot
you can say sh-t about me and my outfit, that’s okay i don’t mind
cause it just looks like you just clothes lined jim jones’ clothesline
sh-t, you can walk around like you a legend but over here they hardly know ya
he basically makes up a large part of the quota of every half -ssed obama voter from nantucket to calistoga
type to think cause they got a black president that america’s forward thinking
but matter of fact you was posh, fat and a woman so…one-nill to england
when i first seen caustic i thought he was dead girl in a [?]
cause you so pale bro you probably get rain stroke
sh-t, you can even go ahead and flip that and say my pastiness is more than you
but you live in california so what the f-ck is your excuse?
ah f-ck it, you can hit me with said angles, you know you’re clashing df’s geriatric
nah f-ggot, you clashing tom petty’s section in [?]
that black and white is well doc-mented
watch me end it badly, have him living in discworld off good omens like terry pratchett
but i ain’t a fighter, so my writing is the left that landed
my pen it dances, the devil next to the men it catches
my set is c-ssius, soon as my stepping active
leave him weaved back and forth like a mexican blanket
in case you didn’t know daniel is a proud italian
mother p-ss the salsa so illy
she mixing that tomato and garlic with home chilli
but of yankee italians who never go to italy
so say you ball, you get the foot like [?]
plus i had this whole thing when i was gonna say he was italian with a jew nose but he be like, “don’t give me that please.”
i was gonna say like, “i know joey tribbiani so are you joey tribbianstein?
but he be like, “more f-cking nose jokes” yeah we all know it’s f-cked
well then he said he was a west coast vet, i said, “yeah like nate dogg. you only known for the hook.”
[round 2: caustic]
that’s it? oh sh-t
you make fun of my f-cking hat you idiot, you can suck my f-cking b-lls
cause if i’m not mistaken your girl is the fat f-cking b-tch with the snap back up against the wall
i said, i don’t gotta brag about my gun charge, that’s be breaking the code j
i don’t gotta tell these people i got sentenced to seven years for hustling cocaine
i mean i don’t even gotta give you the rest of this propane
but i will talk about my d-ck cause you can f-cking suck the whole thing
are you kidding me?
this is supposed to be this big beast of a writer?
i haven’t heard a verse that wack since chipmunk did the b.e.t. cypher
yo eurgh, i apologize for the deffinition battle bro
i wasn’t coming prepared
but honestly, i only took that battle to f-ck holly halston and the f-cking b-tch wasn’t even there
it’s like he’s p-ssed off about religion
he f-cking got resentments because all the christians at jeff’s church used to show jefferson love
i mean, why would you bring up jesus when n0body mentioned it once
okay we get it, god’s not real, but the priest that molested you was
all that pseudo intellect bullsh-t ain’t gonna fool us
plus this dumb f-ggot paid for my flight cause he thought it’d be a good way to get his views up
yo, you wanna walk a mile in my shoes, then start lacing your boots up
but this crowd is tough as leather, they will not be suede/swayed by some new buck/nubuck
public service announcement
brushing your t–th is just something that you have to do
it’s not okay to have morning breath this late in the afternoon
your mouth smells like you’ve been eating h-bomb p-ssy
that sh-t’s f-cking foul inside
somebody find this man some formaldehyde
or whatever the f-ck climbed inside your mouth and died
if this is son’s/suns time to shine then i’m a solar eclipse
if this is his jump to top tier then i hope you eat sh-t
your motherf-cking face looks like an aborted fetus
and your body’s the coat hanger they scr-ped out the ovaries with
you little bony weak b-tch
your body’s built like the string of a tampon
and congratulations on making an album out of j-57’s beats that i p-ssed on
i mean, no hate to brown bag, y’all my motherf-cking friends for life
but your kid’s getting out of line, i might have to break out that belt tonight
you will always be wack even when soul khan helps you write
i guess that’s what you get for relying on a jew to give you a better price
[round 3: jefferson price]
no offense but….ah actually yeah take offense by this
the freshcoast is just a jizz stain of it’s former glory
i remember when eurgh and crugs when there they called us “f-gs” and said that don’t flop was boring
notice now they’re keeping their mouths shut cause they know they making it worse
and eurgh stood in the corner grinning like, “how the tables have turned.”
but out of all the freshcoast boy band you should be the most p-ssed off
cause you been in a sh-t spot ever since the kid you fought jim was gonna fix it got his sh-t tossed
see i can’t even front and say this dude is even wack
sh-t that ain’t even gas i consider him a beast in fact
when people talk about battling as a career like we’re reaching for that
it’s only those with steady hands that keep a career from a crash
so a career, how can most even perceive it at that?
this is a hobby, most of us don’t get a p when we rap
an 1/8th get paid an 1/8th get somewhere to sleep and crash
and the rest of us get free entry and somewhere to leave our bags
now that’s the real tier system, getting paid to maim victims
you are very near making out wishing a clear vision
l.a. riotz, m.o.b., battle of the bay, grizzle, he was throwing straight missiles
but most of ’em ain’t hitting, imagine
he was like lunar in ’09, when marvel and a shared that top tier spot
so it should be easy money now that the top tiers gone
he was lining up battles with t-rex, nah you ain’t hear wrong
but not even t-rex was willing to give him that ear shot
dot mobb
ph and x-factor were another two making a switch
if grind time was the other guy you’d be the paper b-tch
battle leagues been moving you off
your opponents a loaner and earn fast
you can never get to mirror the opus of soul khan
so you got stockholm syndrome while throwing them cold battles
and fell in love with the people who were f-cking you so hard
sh-t…
{chokes}
see that’s the point, you see i get why you do it
sometimes sh-t can be stale at home
sometimes it feels you wanna be somewhere where you ain’t alone
i mean the birds wanna w-nk you off and the dudes say that you’re dope
it’s like a little bit of praise it feels like some fame of our own
i mean, they said that’s the lesson
you can be a beast never the less but that ain’t never what they selling
cause amidst the handshakes and yelling the real test of intelligence
is making sure you never mistake respect for progression
all the big battles you get, you ending their lives
every big battle i get, i’ve lost…every time
and that’s my point about progression summed up in this next line
is that your end didn’t even look [?] next to mine
in conclusion…f-ck off it’s a birthday
let’s start drinking
and another four years at don’t flop will make that two-nil to england
let’s f-cking go
[round 3: caustic]
y’all ready?
sorry kiddo
last night there was an incident
somebody decided to tell jeff my rhymes
i’ve seen a lot of things in this battle game, but i never had anybody beg for mercy ahead of time
when he caught wind of what i did, he got so f-cking upset
he told mickey if i went through with this round he wouldn’t show to the event
we had a conversation
there were some compromises made, and honestly, not a lot was changed
cause all i told you was that i would probably drop the names
but you know that we agreed to, but there were no promises made
and you may have talked to daniel stefani yesterday, but you’re f-cking talking to caustic today
i said it’s caustic, homie, i’m known to body rappers
i break a motherf-cker down, i’m starting to offer cl-sses
you be the exact motherf-cker i hate, acting like a c-cky b-st-rd
then go home to your fat fiancee carly after you just got done opening condom wrappers with that…
[uno lavoz]
…f-cking b-tch holly masters
[caustic]
(hey, i kept my word, right?)
oooh, this sh-t just got incredibly real
luckily for me, i don’t f-cking care how you feel
why should i change my verses? you’re the one who’s gotta carry the guilt
so with that said, let’s talk about that…
[uno lavoz]
…girl sarah mcgill
[caustic]
(you mad? oh, cry. got the cry face.)
what, you think you the man, jeff? f-cking sl-ts is not impressive
especially when it’s verb t and joker starr’s sloppy seconds
that sh-t is f-cking disgusting
you probably got infected and thought, “hey, now’s as good a time as any to go home and pop the question.”
yo, how you gonna marry a fat girl that you ashamed of obviously?
f-ck getting engaged, you need to f-cking engage in some honesty
i mean i’m not hating on relationships
they say the best things in life are free
but what did you get her for your anniversary homie? f-cking h.i.v.?
i mean, he’s scared of his baby mama cause she’s elephant size
so he f-cks random strippers, he’s a h-ll of a guy
so ladies, next time you get approached by jefferson price
why don’t you tell him to go home and try f-cking on his heavyset wife?
i don’t even get how you sleep at the end of the night
i honestly hope every last sperm inside your t-st-cl-s dies
so stop running around england like you some s-xual prize
and deal with the fact that you got to sleep next to that fat b-tch for the rest of your life
he begged me not to do this, but honestly this b-tch deserves it
and the only thing i learned about england is never spit your verses for that f-cking snitch micky worthless
yo, if your wife still says “i do” to you after this verse, then she’s f-cking high on drugs
but remember this while you’re writing your vows kid:
you can’t put a price on love
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