diamond desireé - journal entry #7 كلمات الأغنية
journal entry number seven
i’ve been reflecting over these past few months and there’s a lot to sift through
i’ve been on this journey to forgiveness thing and it’s way harder than i expected
it’s a process and i’m taking it day by day, but sometimes i replay it in my mind and i get so upset
other times i feel relieved that this particular chapter in my life is over
over time i’m realizing i’m holding on to so much anger
i keep seeing different videos and quotes on instagram trying to figure me out and diagnose me with someone else’s truth
but by taking a step back and sifting through my own emotions with god, it hit me that maybe
just maybe holding on to this anger gives me my own sense of power since i felt so powerless with all the rejection he put me through
that was good, huh?
i feel power by being upset and having the option to forgive him, but in turn it makes me feel bitter and worse about myself
why is that? i don’t know, but i do know i’m sick of being mad and i don’t want to be mad anymore
i’m choosing to let him go because i feel imprisoned with this anger and i want to stop feeling like i need to prove to myself that i’m strong enough
i want to release him fully and not feel defeated but proud of myself for doing that
i’ve been angry for so long
i think it’s time to choose some peace
don’t you?
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