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deborah healy - pulp (interlude) lyrics
[interlude: deborah healy, café worker, and [redacted]]
h-llo, welcome to consuela cafe, home of the infamous sm-gm- frappe. how can i help you today?
hi, yes. i am world famous psychotherapist slash divorce counselor [redacted]. i demand that you give me a free drink, since i am so famous and all
ma’am, i really don’t care who you are. i just need your order so i can get my daily paycheck of three chuck e. cheese tokens and a rusty cervical dilator
why the f-ck are you being so rude to me? you poor people are all the same. i’ll have you know i am very famous an–
i received word that my evil clone was holed up in this cafe, and i see the b-tch is here right now
oh my f-cking god it’s deborah healy. please, spare me. have mercy on me. i have two and a quarter kids at ho–
shut the f-ck up, f-ggot, i’m not here for you yet. i’m here for this android c-nt
i’m sorry, who are you? i am very very super famous psychotherapist and divorce counselor [redacted]–
your clone mind tricks won’t work on me, you pig. now i’m going to brutally and unspeakably end your life. say goodbye to your fifteen seconds of fame, sweaty
wait, why are you holding a custom made super large steel machine gun? surely you aren’t going to shoot me, super famous psychotherapist and div–
oh my f-cking god, you just murdered [redacted] in cold blood. your super heavy bullets literally destroyed her flesh and sent the bl–dy pulpy mess flying all over the cafe she is literally indistinguishable now you literal barbarian. the police are surely coming now
what? no, that’s my evil clone. she’s been stealing my spotlight and ruining my life and–oh my god that’s [redacted]. i am so f-cked. oh well, might as well up the body count to two, right?
wait, wha–
oh f-ck, are those sirens? oopsy p–psie, gotta go
[outro]
well, i guess i’m on the run again
hee hee hee, this is making me feel all nostalgic
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