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d12 - christmas tales lyrics
(intro:)
so everybody (everybody)
hope you know there’s no santa clause
you know they lying to us all
no fat man give out toys yall
(verse 1: kuniva)
now i remember christmas
waking up in p_ssy pajamas
i never would’ve guessed that santa clause was my mama
that’s f_cked up
thought lying was bold (that was different!)
but this f_cking liars twelve years old
all the time we was making them cookies and burning brownies
making sure i was asleep
sending my brother to spy on me was bullsh_t (h_ll yeah)
whatchu mean stop cursing i can say it again
d_mn ain’t lying a sin
don’t get me wrong
i appreciate the sh_t you bought me
but don’t you think it goes against everything you taught me
be honest
tell the truth
it’ll set you free
a fat white man with no fee
a mystery
n_gga please
i done sat on this motherf_ckers lap
with his sack
telling him i been good and all of that
you mean to tell me all of that was a knack
you on some bull
wait a minute
don’t take my toys back i want those
(verse 2: bizarre)
sorry kids
out here your daddys broke
plus my checked is linked to interscope (sorry)
i wanted to buy you a g.i. joe and a stuffed bunny
i got $500
but that’s my weed money (gotta smoke)
im just trying to get these books gone
and f_ck christmas
im tryna get the heat and lights on
(i thought you got two gs from the eminem show)
it’s already gone
i owed it to d bo (my money punk)
and i ain’t got the video game that you wanted
here’s your double dribble on atari 2600
you know bizarre don’t celebrate holidays
i’ll buy you a pound of weed on your next birthday
(verse 3: swifty mcvay)
i regret that i ever wrote a christmas list
i found this sh_t in my mothers dress (ain’t this my stuff b_tch)
my parents wasn’t rich
they getting all this sh_t
but for what reason
d_mn mama what about the rent?
this tree it don’t fit
to h_ll with saint nick
and this sh_t
they liable of burning down the crib
but when i light trees
you acting like i did something major
you better stop brainwashing your kids
i’m p_ssed in the winter
and since that n_gga swift didn’t get a gift
i’ll admit the grinch was my n_gga
so f_ck a holiday
i’d say ignore it
don’t give me sh_t if i have to wait a year for it
(verse 4: mr. porter)
i need a playstation, xbox, and gamecube goddamit
i know you got the money i saw you stealing from grandma
ain’t no lying to me this year
cause now i’m thirteen
i know how to smoke weed
and i’m all about green (yeah!)
i’m grown now how you ain’t know
there’s hair on my nuts
and the school i got bold
so i need these new clothes to be under the tree
and an r. kelly tape for me and my boys to see (r. kelly!)
it really don’t make no sense
you run around like a chicken with your head cut off (sh_t!)
ain’t buy a d_mn thing that i asked for again
where’s my money (huh?)
where’s the b_tches (huh?)
where’s all the other little sh_t? (huh?)
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