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crywank - crumpledbigskin lyrics

i want to create
to maybe find those who relate
but my struggles feel inadequate
and all i make just simulates
what i can’t explain
and it feels like i feign
these difficulties, opportunistically
to capitalize off my pain

to make art from something difficult
well, i know it can be healing
but how much do i rely
on self_destructive feelings
will i better myself if the fuel for the fire
is demoralizing patterns
is it really constructive
to wait for the next bad thing to happen

is it inspiration
is it a way of confronting?
am i stagnating?
or am i overcoming?
i feel likе sharing this
is so unbecoming
and though i want to vent
and pay the rеnt
perhaps it’s better to do nothing
how much do i undermine
my own and others trauma?
when i quickly repurpose it
as sellable melodrama?
sometimes i doubt my self so much
are my tragedies authentic
or just a creative writing tool
for me to make a buck quick?

well if someone i love dies
will i find i start to write
an entire concept album
about how they’re no longer alive?
and will it really be needed
to profit from the process?
does it come from a need to make art to survive
or just dramatic excess?
if there’s a fire
and i think i’m gonna die
the more i repeat it
the more it feels like a lie
well it’s not that bad
well at least at least at least
at least i didn’t die
so that this song could be released
to make art from something difficult
well, i know it can be healing
but how much do i rely
on self_destructive feelings
will i better myself if the fuel for the fire
is demoralizing patterns
is it really constructive
to wait for the next bad thing to happen?

[instrumental break]

how much do i undermine
my own and others trauma?
when i quickly repurpose it
as sellable melodrama?
sometimes i doubt my self so much
are my tragedies authentic
or just a creative writing tool
for me to make a buck quick?

- crywank

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