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crudbump - big balls phone calls lyrics

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mozart wrote sick sh-t and called it le b-ttf-ck
salvador dali said my words are a truck
i talked to stephen king, he said “give me your autograph”
motherf-ckers need to know bout the one true polymath

playing monopoly i’m always the top hat
tapping store clerks on the side of the shoulder pad, asking
where the drinks at? where the drinks at?
where the drinks at, my mouth is dry

i’m the lee harvey oswald of eatin’ pie
had a plot to kill the president when he was a white guy
didn’t carry it out cause i would’ve got capped
and if i wanted to get shot for bush i would have gone to iraq and afghanistan
that’s not the planistan
honey i shrunk the country starring rick moranistan

i’m making big b-lls phone calls
i’m making big b-lls phone calls

i’m making big b-lls phone calls, give me the handset
asking ted strickland for serious transit
not directly, i left him a voicemail, and said
this is 2010. where the h-ll is the light rail and street cars
or the weed bars
hit pound and dialed npr, because it’s paid for by viewers like me
(that’s pbs.)
oh

i’m making big b-lls phone calls
i’m making big b-lls phone calls

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