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cottonville - the diary of neal lyrics
[intro]
[neal grout]
welcome to the diary of neal
[chorus]
[jake the snake and marshalleezy tatreezy]
it was a long long time ago
but i’m very fond of the day neal came to town
he took me by his side brought me along for a ride
from that day on it was going down, yaowa
[jake the snake]
ya, neal grout
he’s got 30 hoes in his garage 10 in his dodge
ready to hop on his 80 foot rod
bout to grout it, bout to shout it
at the top of my lungs neal grout
ya, man of neal, steal a ho and give her a meal
neal’s quig’s an 8 course dinner
she starts eating but she couldn’t finish
so he put it in her
the only flaw with neal is that he’s white
but it’s a fact we consider him black
when that ho touches his sack
it’s like she just grabbed 2 bowling b-lls haah!
it’s the great grout
grab some hoes and make out
then take her down to pound town eat the place out
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
men kneel to him
hoes squeal for him
everybody’s freakin’ out trying to feel on him
grout all inside you: bathroom
neal’s quig is a vector got direction and magnitude
not to be rude but
neal’s quig is so bodacious hoes want to suck it more than a roomba
[jake the snake]
and if you -ssume the groutinator will slay you with a razorblade
you may be mistaken unless you’ve taken a ho
you know he’ll bake you like bacon
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
as a baby neal was shaken
but it didn’t even affect him i reckon
neal’s intestines we’re a blessin’, from god
if you’re messing with neal
you’re messing with a terminator robot with a big rod
teen heartthrob
the ladies bob for neal’s quig just like they bob for apples
can’t even grapple neal’s quig
can’t even fathom just how m-ssive it is
[jake the snake]
he’s at it again
just packin’ em’ in the back of his crib
all the hoes just tryna grab at his big black quig
they know it’s like a never-ending pole
because you can fit about a million hoes on each side and have room for a million mo’
let the king take a seat on the throne
eat, gweet, throw his big meat on the hoes
then he can repeat it when he wakes up in the evening
hearin’ treezy, giving him a ring on the phone
[neal grout]
h-llo?
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
hey what up man?
it’s your main squeeze tatreezy
[neal grout]
hey i might have to call you back
cause it’s getting kind of sleezy up in here
hot and heavy dawg
these hoes are gettin’ ready to play parcheesi
and you know when they play that they start
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
easy easy easy dawg
you can spare me with the deeties
[neal grout]
with the deeties?
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
the details it never fails your long tails of gettin’ tail
are sometimes too in depth man you can’t understand i-
then a long beep as he hangs up the line
and then i wait five minutes cause that’s the average time
it takes neal to finish off a cubic kilometer of hoes
then i suppose it’s time to give him another go
i ring him up, ring
[neal grout]
you talkin’ to the groutinator
better hurry up i got sauerkraut in the refrigerator
and i’ve worked up an appet-te taking these hoes downtown
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
neal you’re the king
i know you got the crown of the number one player in the whole nation
you set the bar so high but still amazingly bar raisin’
i just called to inform you
that cottonville’s quarterly numbers are off the charts
and all the ladies will swarm you
[neal grout]
ay dawg, tell me something new
i’m like the, richest individual criminal
highly hospitable to the hoes
i just hit em’ and quit em’ all
anyone’s quig compared to mine is pitiful
the original irresistible quig is biblical
irregularly polygonal
every disease i get, is s-xually transmittable
did you learn your lesson?
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
sorry sir, didn’t mean to offend
[neal grout]
just shut up tatreezy i got some hoes to attend
[jake the snake]
and then he checks up on his twitter friends
he got tweeted by big rich again
sayin’ ease off on the hoes kid
there’s so many inside your crib
they just keep on comin’ man they’re flowin’ in
this has to end
but you know neal there’s no way that he’ll take it
so he tweets back
[neal grout]
you’ll never make it a half a day in a grout attack in fact
take your last tweet and shove it up your gweethole
people don’t understand that i’m the man of neal
and you know that all of the hoes are tryna feel, up on my quig
[jake the snake]
and with a grin he presses send
and as soon as richie gets the message, he plots for revenge
but then, a bullet comes through the window and straight through his head he falls dead
the great grout is the victor
now it’s back to his hoes and sippin’ on liquor
picture, two planets attached to the big dipper
that’s neal’s quig
all the hoes are sayin’
mister i wanna kiss ya be with ya
now pull down your zipper
[neal grout]
dismiss ya!
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
only eat my salad with groutons
neal is like the dragonborn gettin’ his shout on
[jake the snake]
he’ll grout on your family
mom, dad and granny
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
and somehow winning grammys for f-lch-ng a tranny
[jake the snake]
so manly, can’t stand to be next to the man of neal
now who’s that kid with the swag?
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
that’s neal!
when taking a ride on neal’s quig
please keep all arms and legs on board
in case of emergency
neal’s quig can be used as a flotation device
now here’s some advice
stay away from neal’s hoes or you’ll be beheaded
[jake the snake]
regret it
now he’s headed back to his house of hoes
where his spouse will blow his quig as he says
[neal grout]
you are fantastic though!
[marshalleezy tatreezy]
neal was swimmin’ in a lake in scotland
and his quig got mistaken for the lochness monster
[jake the snake]
he’s the god of foster children in a mob of mobsters
and you know he’s got more dough and hoes than pete rose
on his crotch even though it’s harrier than potter
[chorus]
[neal grout]
man get these hoes off my quig
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