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collegehumor - money can buy anything i want (interlude) lyrics
[alexa]
hey, newsie? uh, hi_ho
[paperboy]
extra, hi_ho, read all about it!
you see that skyscr_per?
it’s even taller now
and there’s a shadow all over the baseball field!
[alexa]
yeah, but listen, i was thinking
it’s really hard to build a structure that fast, like_
[paperboy]
sure is!
[alexa]
and i mean, in a week
it’s gotten a few stories taller
it got me thinking
it must not be like
made of official materials in any way?
[paperboy]
absolutely not!
she doesn’t like building regulations
so she actively builds it
in a way that is not earthquake_safe
[alexa]
okay, i think i have a plan to take it down
[paperboy]
oh that’s great
because we’re all way too scared to stand up to tina
[alexa]
awww…
[tina] (on the skyscr_per)
pinocchio, build it higher!
[pinocchio]
yeah, yes ma’am, i’ll build it higher!
[tina]
because you know why?
[pinocchio]
why?
[tina]
money can buy anything i want!
[pinocchio]
oh, okay, well
you sure you didn’t want to spring for more
’cause there are all like
home depot two_by_fours
and i’m pretty sure they’re not wood
that’s graded for construction
[tina]
i don’t care, build it higher!!
[pinocchio]
okaaay!
[alexa] (back on the street)
you’re really good at getting the word out!
[paperboy]
heheh, it’s kinda what i do!
[alexa]
yeah, uhh, we just need
everyone in town
to pitch in!
i think we could just
take this thing apart in like an assembly line
[paperboy]
you want me
to write the headline?
[alexa]
well, i guess i’m thinking more like
can you spread the word quickly?
[paperboy]
okay, can you say what the words are?
[alexa]
yeah, sure
[paperboy]
yeah, okay
[alexa]
it might be
something like this, uhhh…
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