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cody froese - drowning lyrics

[verse 1]
feels like i’m drowning, it’s
constant, it’s exhausting, and
what am i supposed to do when everyone around me is
having fun without me, and
always super happy, but
often times i wonder what i have to be so jealous of?
what is it that’s going on?
what is it that’s bothersome?
what is it that makes me feel like i just annoy everyone?
i see someone having fun, it gets to me, it’s just because
i just wish that i could be a part of it, that’s all i want
for the longest time, i’ve always been the one to ask to hang out
just for it to happen once
after that, there’s always something or someone to interrupt
every single time, that’s how it always goes
but i still don’t get the reason why i just can’t know that
my friends all still care, because they don’t, that’s what i tell myself
thoughts like that all get to me constantly, and i feel unwell
i just wanna know why can’t i be happy ’round my friends
without having to bother them
to reassure me again and again?
it’s exhausting, and honestly, it’s hard for me
to remind myself that these bad feelings are shared commonly
because when it’s me, i just feel like an annoyance
no matter how many times people remind me they care for me
why can’t i just feel better? i just want to know that
all my friends surrounding me do love me, and to know that
they actually want to be around me, but it’s hard when
i can’t ask for help because i keep my thoughts closed in
i feel like i ruin everything
and even if i do get help, eventually, my thoughts will spiral down again
all of this is out of my control
i’d do anything just to know that my friends want me to stay around again
and that they enjoy being my friends
i’d do anything to not keep getting lost inside my head
and keep feeling alone again
but until then, i guess i’ll just have to keep dealing with my feelings all on my own again
[chorus]
i don’t wanna be alone anymore, no
i don’t wanna be alone anymore
i don’t wanna be alone anymore, no
i don’t wanna be alone anymore

[verse 2]
i get so nervous when it comes to asking friends to do things
i don’t know why, i’m tired of it, it makes me feel stupid
because i ask myself, well, what if they don’t want to do it?
what if they don’t want to hang out with me, because i’m useless?
i get to havin’ thoughts like that, and it’s just quite a bummer
they keep me up at night, and make sure i can only wonder
if what they say is really true, or is it ’cause they hunger
to feed all on my pain, and make sure i can only suffer?
my mood can only plummet, i cannot reach the summit
it storms inside my head when i’m alone, it rains and thunders
and it just makes me question, do i deserve attention?
or should i make sure when i’m insecure, it’s never mentioned?
all that i wanna know is that all of my friends care
that if i ever needed them, they’d always be there
i don’t know why i’m like this, honestly, it’s not fair
why should i have to question if the love i show is shared?
deep down, i know it is, but sometimes i can’t help but doubt it
sometimes it seems hard to believe, and i can’t think about it
and even if my friends say that they do, and that they vow it
i’ll stay convinced that it’s not true, don’t matter if they shout it
and if it helps me out, it may just help me in the moment
but that’s just how it works, i hate it, but i have to know it
because then i’ll feel better for a while, but then later
i’ll sink back down again, and just like that, i’m at my lowest
that’s why i get so scared when i need to ask for help
i’ll try, but most of the time, it ends up as just a fail
and even though i should know that my friends are always there
i just don’t want to bother them, so i stay out their hair
but i don’t want to stay like that, i want to understand
that it’s okay to ask a friend to come and grab my hand
when i need help to get up to the surface, so i can
take a deep breath and know that they love me for who i am
[chorus]
i don’t wanna be alone anymore, no
i don’t wanna be alone anymore
i don’t wanna be alone anymore, no
i don’t wanna be alone anymore

- cody froese lyrics

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