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califone - family swan lyrics
golden_eyed pigeons fly in pairs
grey squeaklings linking sp_ce
“swans mate for life”
the old git on the news turns to the camera
for the last word, “life”
even the wizened are media_savvy
swan families sticking their beaks, mounted on long thin necks
into other family members’ business
the sickness of one means the rest
won’t go to fill their swan_bellies
no, they’ll stick togethеr
floating around until the poison k!lls
that bullet was outlawed yеars ago
lead sh_ll_casings litter the area
he was a family_swan
dead, bit the bullet
heavy head hanging on a long limp neck
“it’s hard on your mother
it’s hard on your mother, you know”
in my head, i say
“yes, you are hard on my mother”
he wants to shout out
“you’re k!lling your mother, you’re k!lling your mother again”
family_man tried to down a bottle of pills
family_mother had to get farm_woman from next door
to come and get the pills out of his mouth
flipping him over, cursing
like pulling out the fringe of a rug caught in the vacuum cleaner
his lips tightened over dissolving pills
white, cream, blue pills
tiny logos carved into them
tiny logos carved in the dissolving pills
“are you trying to k!ll your mother?”
that was his crazy cry when at twelve
i got caught playing nicky_knocky_nine_doors
seemed absurd
mother passed us in the hall heading for her hot bath
for the first time, i noticed and wondered why
a woman’s ass is wider than a man’s
foolishly i’d asked, “how did mom get cancer?”
turned out i was to blame
the answer, “having a child later in life and not breast feeding caused the cancer”
oh, bitter pill
oh, bullet with a name on it
a tiny message carved into it
a tiny message carved into my dissolving heart
when i moved away from their madness
family_mother put on her tweed going_to_the_doctor suit
and came to my little attic apartment
she didn’t say h_llo to my boyfriend
sitting on the edge of my bed
she was there to inform me
that i would have to move home
my leaving had affected her sleep
oh, now she’s eighty, she has terrible nightmares
i prompt her to reveal them while i learn that she’s integrating me
into the disasters she watches on tv
family_man tells me a million terrible things
all at once, one after another
my stature decreases
i become short and ugly again
oh, my voice is hollow, small (my voice is hollow, small)
i can’t do anything right (i can’t do anything right, i am worthless)
i am worthless (hanging on)
hanging on (to blame)
to blame
my thinking forms awkward words
to be twisted and thrown back
into my tiny fifty_four year_old face
family_man’s gonna set me straight
“your mother’s gonna live another twenty years
she’s going to live to a hundred”
family_man rants and gets confused
“your mother’s gonna live another hundred years”
“she’s gonna live another hundred years”
oh, i wish he’d make up his mind
i wish he’d make up his mind
either i’m k!lling her or she’s never going to die
family_man tells me a million terrible things
all at once, one after another
family_man gonna set me straight
family_man gonna set me straight
family_man gonna set me straight
family_man gonna set me straight
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