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caius hubris - pangs كلمات الأغنية

pangs lyrics
[verse] (caius hubris)
lay awake, eyes wide, five in the morning
grave mistake, deep inside, bottle pop forming
six am, finally, the alarm sings
sick i am, mentally, p_wn takes king
tear my body out of bed and convince myself
that what i did years ago was someone else
outside in the cold, i wait for the bus
climb inside, sit down, along with my thoughts
ready to work, ignore the hurt, and flirt with shirley
good distraction, but it’s not long before my conscience comes back, asking:
“do you remember what the f_ck you did?
do you feel too guilty to have that kid?
it doеsn’t have to be another day in thе life
you could sit her down, you could tell her tonight
you could admit to that sh_t you did
good hermit, bottle up, insist on distance instead”

[verse] (endr)
it started with cathartic compartments of hardened apathy
and parted waves in oceans i didn’t know were contained in me
drained the remainder of traits i painted with strangers
and ate the ages of amber that i’d upgraded to standards
it’s scant but it’s amped up, cramped and clamped to my cup
i’m camped on couches in houses that need a mountain of love
i’m sittin’ spoutin’ my mouth, slouched, announcing my doubts
and found i failed to account for facts i figured profound
bound to bottles and bruised by abandoned handles of booze
i’ve had my hand in the juice while i pandered pain to the blues
so man i cut that sh_t loose, vamoosed the vermouth
ran the numbers again, bent ’em, ended up still confused
see, i said it’d never take precedent over
the efforts i gave to abstain from the odor
but nevertheless i’m in over my head
and i’ve settled for less than i ever would sober
i’m out of defenses and cannot repent it’s
a cloud that endows me and makes me acquit
too proud to escape this degraded enslavement
back to the basics i’m hugging the pavement

- caius hubris

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