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c-reezy - alpha lyrics
[friend]
so is everything in your life okay?
[c-reezy]
what the f-ck do you think?
where do i begin all the time i spend is in my room
all alone with no friends
to hang out with on the weekend, cause i’m boring and i know i am
thats just me, my life is always this way and there’s always so much that i want to just say
my mom always yells at me for my grades and i wanna hang out with my girl everyday
but sh-t doesn’t work out as well as it should, and i know i’m lazy not working hard like i could
but theres always some fear of rejection in my life
i’m a failure i guess until the day i die
or maybe someday i can redeem myself if i really try
somehow i can rip the wings out my back and fly
to the highest parts inside my mind
i’m always so nice and so d-mn kind
wake up press snooze on the clock
make sure the time’s right on my watch
get dressed, not feeling the best
but thats just the life of a kid who’s depressed
i walk to my bus, not giving a f-ck
get to school with a mind that doesn’t know trust
i see my girl, i wonder if she really even likes me
i don’t know and i don’t see why the girls even wanna try me
i’m lame, i draw cartoons, and i read comics
i don’t have much going for myself and i’m just do behind man
[friend]
then get you shirt together chris, it shouldn’t be that hard
sure life is always tough, sometimes you get pushed you’re smart
you got this in the bag, i know you you’re a good guy
you’re not alone everyone i know kinda has a bad life
[c-reezy]
f-ck that, i’m not supposed to feel this sad
everyday i wake up i’m either mad or sad
why can’t i be the old chris who used to smile all the time
the kid who showed off his work, and was proud of the life
he lived, oh what i would give to get back to that happy sh-t
before all the demons and depression with the slitting wrists
i’m tired bro, physically mentally it’s all insane
i have too many thoughts always going through my brain
my mom’s always b-tching at me like i’m a problem
she has hers she has to deal with and i can’t solve them
i can barely help myself, let alone my family
i’m trying so much so hard i want to start traveling
[friend]
to where? you have anything in mind?
do you really wanna go the rapper route in life?
you can do so much chrism you can be an architect
you can be a awesome lawyer, you just haven’t tried it yet
[c-reezy]
what the f-ck no, don’t you get it? i’m just trying to be me
the young and wild kid, i wanna live my life free
wanna be a an artist out there expressing
my thoughts into songs with my feelings
i’m sad, yes, everybody knows that now
i have my bad days when i’m always looking down
i wanna be different when i come up with these sounds
but when i’m serious people look at me like a clown
when i go to school people always make fun of me
i don’t get what the f-ck is so f-cking funny
i’m just a kid, sorry i’m not the norm
ive been this way since the f-cking day i was born
if i could change the way i am i would do it
to go through all this daily sh-t is bullsh-t
kiss my -ss f-ck it all, none of my friends want to call
i never hang out, i don’t see fl!cks
i don’t get numbers, i can’t get chicks
so what the f-ck am i supposed to do as chris?
[friend]
maybe if you were more fun like your friends you’d get accepted
and they’re probably just joking no need to be offended
you’re the one who’s putting himself out there
so you can’t be alone and always scared
this demon stuff is just a phase
every teen goes through it in they’re own way
don’t feel left out or neglect
it’s not that serious and don’t forget
you’re young have fun like you’re supposed to
you wanna leave the house sometimes don’t you?
i guess i let my feelings get the best of me
there’s a lot in this world and the rest i see
is the part inside my mind thats just reset ling
to the darkness and i can’t be happy
with how things are i wanna f-ck change
i want people to think i’m cool not strange
i want girls to think i’m cute, and not think i’m lame
i wanna be famous and be in the rap game
get a car get a license i mean i’m already 18
when comes the day when people appreciate me
i guess i have to wait, just a little longer
and k!ll off the demons so they don’t get stronger
i’ll try to get my sh-t together more
hang out with more friends, bust down mental doors
i make these barriers around the smiles and the laughs
too tired of the hate the neglect and the sad
i don’t want the day to come where the option i lose it
to be genuinely happy so f-ck it gonna choose it
to be the better guy, to finally mature
to figure out things so i can be sure
[friend]
there you go…you got it. you just need to relax and stop worrying so much
you got everyone you need, and if you need some more time, you can always talk to me
i’m always here for you, and if i can’t make anything clearer
you always have someone…just look into the mirror
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