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broadway karkat - a gristmas carol (bonus track) كلمات أغنية

_”deck the halls” starts playing_

here’s your chance to sing along now
share these lyrics with a chum or two
raise your voice in yuletide song, now
all the tunes are old, the words are new

_music switches to “jingle bells”_

someone please explain
caroling to me
is the purpose not
to make someone’s ears bleed?
what is the appeal
in such cheery songs
why don’t we just toss the score and sing the lyrics wrong!?
gristmas songs
gristmas songs
f_ck ’em up real good!
maybe if we’re lucky, we’ll disturb the neighborhood!
gristmas songs
gristmas songs
screech ’em till you’re ho_rs_!
it might not be wise to do this publicly, of course…

_music switches to “good king wenceslas”
ugly sweater shopping time
just don’t tell kanaya!

dave rigged his with leds
so it lights up brightly
blinking words on scratchy wool
must endure this sh_t nightly…

_music switches to “joy to the world”_

_ahem_

joy to the world
except for john!

_music switches to “here we come a_wassailing”

there goes terezi with wayward vagabond again
scribbling on the walls
since i can’t remember when
but whatever they wreck
or if there’s no blank meteor left
i’ll protect my precious dvds with everything i have
lest “the santa clause” fall into the wrong hands!
_music switches to “o christmas tree”_

this one’s gonna be my magnum opus!

o, ancestors
o, ancestors
why are you all dysfunctional?
o, ancestors, why can’t you see
the rightful leader of this team
o, ancestors
o, ancestors
it’s either this or kankri!

the grand finale was written by and used with her permission!

_music switches to “the twelve days of christmas”

_ahem_

on the twelfth day of my matesprit gave to me…

twelve rippling hoofbeats
eleven frogs a_leaping

nine cans of faygo
eight spiders spinning
seven paraplegics
six revving chainsaws…
_breath_

fiiiiiiiiiiiiiive f_ckasseeeees

four cuttlefish
three sharp claws
two sets of stairs
and a scalebeast hanging from the treeeee!

_music switches to “we wish you a merry christmas”

and now, in the true spirit of gristmas, i shall now complain!

i can’t believe i wasted
four whole minutes of my precious lifetime
on singing stupid christmas carolllls…

seriously, what is wrong with me?

now please leave me aloooone!

- broadway karkat

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