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brian david gilbert - my autobiography lyrics

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born in the ice storm of ‘94
the youngest of three, but with moose, that makes four
mom put me in helmets ‘cause my head was large
i looked like a doofus, but she was in charge

i ate a brick bench, got a scar on my lip
got equinophobia on a field trip
sold my soul to a demon to see how i die
i enjoy origami and baking some pie

i went to hopkins and got a degree
but that does not seem to be helping me
now i live with my mom ‘cause i cannot get work
i still have to wear helmets ‘cause she is a jerk

that demon’s still here, but i do not know why
may 6, 2030 is when i will die
the scene of my death is incredibly bleak
new videos at the end of every week!

- brian david gilbert

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