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brian david gilbert - have you seen my laptop? lyrics

[intro, spoken]
_brian?
_yes?
_do you know where my laptop went?
have you seen my laptop?
_yeah, maybe
what is a laptop?
_it’s a small computer, you can… you have one right in front of you
_oh!
yes, it’s right here
_no
my laptop
_no, you don’t have one though
_that’s what i’m…
do you know where it is?
_pshhhhhhh, ahhhh, it’s kind of a long story…
_that’s fine
[sung with spoken parts]
come gather round and i’ll tell you a tale!
_you have… a hurdy gurdy?
a tale of a night, very much like the one tonight
_you have to sing this story?
_yes
the rain pelted cruelly the wind tore my hood
as i ran through the wood to my homestead
_how many verses is this?
_twelvе!
when i saw in a clearing, a figure was stood
bеckoning as if i were awaited
_when did… we live in brooklyn! nevermind, i’ll come back later
_i’ll skip to verse eleven!
“now you know”, said the wizard
“what price you must pay, to gain the reward you seek.”
_i feel like you skipped a lot
_you’ll get it through context
“you must trade me a treasure thats of commensurate or greater value than the suggested retail price of this mystical, ancient antique.”
so i granted the wizard a book forged in chrome
though it pained me to part and regret filled my mind
with a flourish he vanished along with my tome
leaving nought but this hurdy behind
leaving nought but this hurdy behind
_you p_wned my laptop to get a hurdy gurdy
_karen, i’m sorry, but you’re gonna have to remind me what a laptop is

- brian david gilbert

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