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brentalfloss - the kobayashi maru كلمات أغنية

our story begins back in the year 2285
in a starship bridge simulator
where a cadet is about to take the unwinnable test
and what’s it called again?
why it’s the kobayashi the
kobayashi the
kobayashi maru!
what do you do? what do you do?
starfleet’s own catch 22
what do you do? what do you do?
now let’s meet the teaching crew roll call!
i’m sulu how do? the pilot of the crew
i also arm phasers if you need to pew pew pew!
who’s august and dignified? uhura! uhura!
but don’t get on her bad side
me?
yes you_ra
that’s right
you can call me bones
and d_mnit i’m a doctor
but i’m nursing an exam
like some d_mn test proctor
he’s a doctor not a proctor
i am spock
i’m saavik a student lieutenant class
a third_yеar cadet sitting here with thе brass
i want to do well on this test but alas
no one i know has been able to pass
maybe i’ll be the one
who stays calm and sails right through it
she won’t
maybe i am the one
who has learned enough to do it
she’s not
i’m half_vulcan an interstellar jekyll and hyde
so i’m logical and cold but i feel so much inside!
can we do what we’re here to do?
which is the
kobayashi the
kobayashi the
kobayashi maru!
begin simulation
mister sulu set a parabolic course
course laid in via section 15
captain i’m getting a distress call
open a channel onscreen
and their captain will be played by me
help!
our freighter is adrift in sp_ce
we need assistance! do you read me?
yes
we could all be dead in an hour
we struck a gravitic mine and lost all power
no power
where are you?
gamma hydra section ten
burnin’ out our fuse up here alone!
wait gamma hydra section ten?
the klingon neutral zone
klingon neutral zone!
may i remind the captain that the neutral zone
we’re forbidden to enter i’m well aware
our personnel is flailing!
our life support is failing!
is anybody there? does anybody care?
is the captain prepared to violate a treaty?
well how big is your crew?
we’ve got two dozen crewmen
oh
and three hundred alfanian puppies!
captain
captain
captain
what will you do?
it may be risky
but as we say in starfleet
no weird looking life forms left behind
your orders?
we’re goin’ in
we are now entering the klingon neutral zone
what’s that beeping?
here we go again
as you might have guessed this brutal test
is about to take its toll
take its toll
three of those blips were klingon ships
on a routine guard patrol
sha la la la la la
they’re charging weapons they’re closing fast
and you’ve got no way out
how do ya dance when ya got no chance?
that’s what this whole thing is about!
aw come on!
what do you do? what do you do?
red alert!
when it all comes down to you?
what do you do? what do you do?
battle stations!
that’s the kobayashi maru
raise shields!
just like aging and death
or the curse of macbeth
no one ever beats the kobayashi maru
nearly no one
what do you do? what do you do?
a captain’s nightmare coming true
what do i do? what do you do?
this isn’t fair!
well that’s the kobayashi maru!
abandon ship!
what do you do? what do you do?
when they drop that other shoe
what do you do?
ah!
that’s the kobayashi maru
how do you face a snafu
without a shred of a plan
and what’ll come of your crew
when it all hits the fan
you have to step to the ledge
and look defeat in the eye
you wanna live on the edge?
you gotta learn how to die!
and find out what you do
when there’s nothing you can do
that is the
kobayashi the
kobayashi the
kobayashi maru
come on get saucy!
you can’t be wishy_washy
with that kooky kobayashi maru!
maru!
yeah!

- brentalfloss

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