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brent bronze - telemachus lyrics
[intro]
there’s no way, there’s no way, i won’t leave
[verse 1]
i study my tears, i’m weary
it’s been 20 years since you’ve been near me
telemachus just searching for the father hoping that you can hear me
it’s tough out here for the kid
i’m lost
gotta leave
sneering at my own loneliness
i’m friendly but friendless
embarking on a journey and scratching my rims on embankments
im leaving everything i’ve ever known and arriving trying to explain it
i never saw so much snow
it didn’t mеlt for weeks
i could feel my will weaken as i withdrew into my dormitory еvery day of every week
the sting of cold air and the fear of the virus kept me scared
the city lights never ceased to shine
but i never found a friend to walk that line
i was trying to grab onto vapors, my grasp useless the air obviously passed through my fingers
i focused on my depression and my ex so much that i neglected my lessons
attending but never listening to professors
my grades at the end had me in hot water so we had scheduled a session and and at the end it came down to saying
(there’s no way, there’s no way, i won’t leave)
[verse 2:]
when i arrived back to my home state
the sh_t was still in infinite disarray
my mother’s house was contentious for me to stay
my aunt and uncle and father gave me a place in their home
slight freedoms allowed for me to see someone i thought i had known
me and them happily greeting the return with everything you expect from a relationship that you felt was blessed
it felt real until it burned
i admit i did not show my true appreciation
no matter my intention
i was neglectful and hurtful to one i claimed was my favorite symptom of life’s polyrhythms
all i did was show up late and that was p_ssing them off beyond comprehension
i get the dissatisfaction, it caused so much tension
i fast forward through the months, it became clear
they had no intention of being truthful to our little highschool extension
i took the initiative, they were too scared to end it
the disrespect they carried out upon me worse than i could ever mention
i was cheated on, gaslit, suicide threats was all in their dirty dishes
asking if we could be friends when they clearly were spitting in the face of everything we had been building
i tore down the walls and i took a fall off the scaffolding broke my heart and tried to keep living on
til they lied about the fact they were dating the new n_gga the whole time, my n_gga i grieved i had to say
[refrain:]
there’s no way, there’s no way, i won’t leave
so pass me by
[verse 3:]
so this is the moment, my atonement
these times don’t last i must go again and i know it
so i
i say i gotta change
i put my pride, i dry my eyes, i get up on, i walk on by
everything i knew, was everything that proved to be a lie
i pull myself together and i stop asking why
i just gotta re_try
i restart because something is better than nothing
i don’t know where to go, this compass rose don’t tell me nothing
but i’m running nonetheless
its just it’s not from myself any more and that’s for the best
i lived, i died, i grieved
i spit, i sighed, i bleed
i dipped, i find, i’m me
but who will that be?
but who will that be?
i won’t leave, i won’t leave
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