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boomer stoop - a song about online dating lyrics

[verse 1]
dating apps, they’re might fun
engineered for everyone
sad? alone? get over yourself
you think you’re special, so does everybody else
with the swipe of your thumb, you could be getting fingered
no need to talk, gab, gash, or linger
you hardly even have to leave your home
you’ve got a world of eligible bachelors in your phone

[verse 2]
let’s test it out
too bold, too blonde
he seems neutered, he looks like a school shooter
thank god we don’t have to waste our time
here’s a doctor, not too bad, but he went to state school undergrad
says 5’10 but we all know he’s 5’9
a few rounds of this got ya feeling stupid
but that’s because it isn’t human (huh? what the f_ck?)

[verse 3]
i know that times, they have to change
that’s just a fact of life
but this, this is just one thing i know that we’ve got right
there were no robots to find you perfection
no need to really judge
’cause all we were after was the feeling, the feeling of falling in love
it took charm
there was tension and wit
you had to have the nerve to be wrapped in somebody’s arms
lost in their eyes
i know that we did it right
[bridge]
oh my god, linda, that was beautiful
yeah, but of course we had that terrible f_cking divorce
oh

[verse 4]
love is love
s_x is s_x
dating is, was, will always be a mess
have a sloppy hookup or take them out to dance
anything goes in the name of romance
ya might not have a clue
but truly there is no right way to do it
who knows how long it’ll last?
so buckle up, get out, and get some ass

- boomer stoop lyrics

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