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bogii - about the memory lyrics

“what an incredible feeling, to be subject to id.”

“now: think about the memory you want me to see
not even that hard, just picture it
let it play.”

[verse]
i was 3, daddy was face down asleep
on the floor, i called mommy at work
i stayed on the line as she drove home
she gave me a hug, at the time i didn’t know
i was 8, got home from a trip
mom explained to me dad made a slip
he was in jail again, no longer could drive
i remember the exhaustion in her eyes
arguing and arguing, they’re arguing again
disappeared into books, comics, games, a lack of friends
left to think, left to think, left to retreat into a world
where adventure was galore, to hear their voices no more
i was 15, mr. iwata was lost
i was 15, i was learning who i was
i was 15, no difference in love and l_st
i was 15, they didn’t give a f_ck
i was 17, put the pedal to the metal
i was 17, i was aiming for the building
i was 17, everything muddied and meddled
i was 17, and i had ruined everything
first love f_cked up, made friends now gone
hobbies evaporated; optimism faded
nihilism sated, couldn’t pray for sh_t
i was 16, became an atheist
ironic, it happened in a closet
confirmed everything, actually the
opposite of despondent
but death was now a problem
so could i solve it?
…
maybe one day i can figure this out
but i guess not now

[child]
“in the future, i will see
what i wanna’ be.”

- bogii

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