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bob rivers - read it in the tabloids lyrics

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i bet you’re wondering how i knew
that prince charles and lady di were through.
was waiting in line at the grocery store.
took a peek at the dirt about demi moore.
and it took me by surprise i must say
when i found out the pope was gay.

i read it in the tabloids.
elvis presley’s doing just fine.
they put it in the tabloids.
got a look at fergi’s b–bs, my my.
honey, honey, yeah.

you know jfk didn’t really die.
they got a picture and he looks all right.
and ross perot’s hanging out with et.
this woman had a kid at a hundred and three.

and you could have seen it all for yourself
’cause it’s right there upon the shelf.
oh, i read it in the tabloids.
you know madonna used to be a boy.
i saw it in the tabloids
right next to a cure for hemorrhoids.
honey, honey, yeah.

- bob rivers

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