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bob kanefsky - argo's fire-breathing daughter lyrics
when we pulled into argo port in need of sky and trees
we all assumed we’d be allowed to worship as we’d please
but when one landing party tried to beam down in the nude
we learned that argo’s colonists were bible_thumping prudes
[chorus]
and we’re banned from argo, just for spite
banned from argo just for dancing around at night
we thought we’d go and worship here for just four days or five
but argo nearly burned us all alive
our engineer went with some friends to worship in the wood
the shorе police were quitе convinced they were up to do no good
they said we’ll have no witches here! ; our engineer just laughed
and said he’d beam aboard again to practice in his craft
[chorus]
and we’re banned from argo, just for spite
banned from argo just for dancing around at night
we thought we’d go and worship here for just four days or five
but argo nearly burned us all alive
our doctor went out shopping and he came back with a steer
the customs people eyed the beast and primly said oh, dear
this must be for your med research. the doctor said like h_ll!
it’s the sacrifice apollo wants each year to keep us well
[chorus]
and we’re banned from argo, just for spite
banned from argo just for dancing around at night
we thought we’d go and worship here for just four days or five
but argo nearly burned us all alive
our lady of communications beamed down with a drum
and opened hailing frequencies to the ghosts in kingdom come
the dead phone their descendants now each night by telescreen:
all bones and gore, for the flesh they wore is nowhere to be seen
[chorus]
and we’re banned from argo, just for spite
banned from argo just for dancing around at night
we thought we’d go and worship here for just four days or five
but argo nearly burned us all alive
our captain gives his service to his goddess every day
but shore leave often tempts the man to try and slip away
her sensors found him with five wh0res he’d picked up in a bar
she beamed him home, and beamed the wh0res to the ladies’ church bazaar
[chorus]
and we’re banned from argo, just for spite
banned from argo just for dancing around at night
we thought we’d go and worship here for just four days or five
but argo nearly burned us all alive
some crewmen held a circle in an argo city park
they’d beamed into a timezone where the sky was clear and dark
the noise woke all the neighbors and they came out armed with rocks
but turned and fled in terror when they caught a glimpse of spock
[chorus]
and we’re banned from argo, just for spite
banned from argo just for dancing around at night
we thought we’d go and worship here for just four days or five
but argo nearly burned us all alive
our crew is starfleet’s finest and perhaps its most diverse
with sixty_two religions, i suppose we could do worse
we’re heading out from argo now, but plan to come back soon
with several hundred photon bombs for bringing down the moon
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