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bo burnham - my whole family... (live) lyrics
[spoken]
uh, thanks. um… welcome to my show; it’s called:
“if you sing along i’ll f-cking k!ll you.”
uh, this is a song
[singing]
every time i go to dinner
it seems like i’m getting a little bit thinner
i’ll sit down at the breakfast table
i can talk; they’re not able
when i look at them i find
there’s a single question on their mind
i wish it could go back to the way it was
it’s not easy now because
my whole family thinks i’m g-y
i guess it’s always been that way
maybe its cause of the way that i walk
that makes them think i like… boys
the god d-mn question just won’t go away
and, i get asked it every single day
but, the way they ask is not a disguise
like “how was your day? do you like to kiss guys?” (that’s… funny)
this is the worst; baby, this was my fear
now, their opinions are crystal-clear because
my whole family now is shocked
i’m in the closet, and the door is locked
now my glory days are gone
i was john elway; now i’m elton john
my whole family now suspects
that watching spongebob had side-effects
i’m not g-y, and that’s what i said
if i’m g-y, hey god, strike me dead
[hacking/coughing]
just cause i’m afraid of the snow
or my favorite color is the rainbow
i don’t mean to yell, but i fear i must
’cause i’m losing the people that i thought i could trust
because even my boyfriend thinks i’m g-y (motherf-ck–)
you all probably think i’m g-y
man, this song is counterproductive
la la la la la
because my whole family thinks i’m g-y
what do they know anyway?
you gotta look right through the haze
easy-bake oven was just a phase
my whole family thinks i’m queer
that is all i ever hear
but i’ve been as straight as a ramp
if you don’t count bible camp
[spoken]
thanks for comin’ out, uh
hey, so those asu girls are pretty hot, any of you… any of ya?
[cheering from audience]
okay, this isn’t a great example, but um…
i’m just kidding, you’re in the dark, i couldn’t see you
i bet you’re gorgeous in the dark
you like my shirt? (yeah.)
um, back home they call me the tie-dye shirt kid
well, that and f-ggot
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