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blood girl - happy today lyrics
i’ll tattoo across my chest
that im unlovable to prove it
and force the pills down my throat
so i can kiss someone without puking
im sick of being sick but sick is sick of wanting out
my body should be a body but instead its walking ground
but just strap your boots on and walk all over me
ive gotten kinda used to that whole dynamic
i’ll tie your laces if you could just listen for a while
i’ll sing horrific details in the story of my life
i’ll cut across my chest
that im uncomfortable to show it
cause im bad at saying how i feel
thats why i’m not a poet
everything i write is always repetitive and way too literal
but the only way to say im sad is if i sing it so
just strap on your shoes and walk across the sea
or anything at all just get the f_ck away from me
those days where im just so depressed that everybody sucks
i hate those days but hey its me so sorry but f_ck off
ill shoot my brain to pieces
so i can prove that i dont like it
the thoughts and all the pictures
that repeat themselves inside me
the therapy thats k!lling me
the people who are treating me
the ocd inside of me
the f_ckedness im trying not to be
but i promised not to die
i’ve promised lots of people
i even have a hotline number saved to make them feel like
im still kinda here
that they shouldn’t start to mourn just yet
even if it really does feel like i am gone already
and my antidepressants are like gummy candy to me
i swallow them with water and wait until happy kicks in
it doesn’t even matter that the only thing they do is make me ill
the placebo effect of goodness is enough for me to be
happy today
happy today
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