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biinjo - noggin's log 20: "up from here" كلمات أغنية

[verse]
emotionless, i seem to be stuck in my motions again
i’m over this, i pray to something that my hatred has fled
the most sober i ever been
no smokin’ or sippin’ that f_ckin’ booze until it makes my liver tense up again
around the block, i’m walkin’, keepin’ heat right under my sweater
i know i talk a lot, but rather that than die from the pressure
my ceiling start to rot, i’m sobbing, can’t sh_t get any better?
i’m makin money, but it don’t change what i’m feelin’ no more
i’m so sore, i wish i’d noticed before
i’m overworked and unappreciated, down to my core
just couldn’t ever place a finger on it, that’s what hurt more
i might just find my inner evil, k!ll it right at the source
i’m uncultured, and i’m full of unadulterated anger that i never manage
sh_t don’t seem to be too sweet
i’m unsure if what i’m aimin’ for is feasible for me to try and take advantage
would it make a difference to me?
takin’ time and talkin’ down against a motherf_cker
day in, day out, got that sh_t rinse and repeat
i can hardly f_ckin’ sleep
tossin’, turnin’, in the bed
my pillow stained from all that weepin’ that i used to do
but i’m still standin’ tall as willow trees
what am i meant to do from this point on?
any moment i get so far
it comes tumblin’ down again
i’m wondering if against all odds
i can k!ll this addiction i’m fightin’
and write till i’m dead, or prevent lost cause
i don’t wanna lose a battle long sought
i need a new rock to lean about or lean against
i make amends, i make mistakes, i push the edge
my limits broke, they peerin’ in and see the man who turned against ’em once again, uh
make a change, i do that best, i’m truly living, time for rest
is nonexistent, hold my breath and dream a good time is comin’ my way for once again
uncontested
i talk to myself when i ain’t have a person around
or speak to the void when i’m losing my ground
surrounded by people i idolize, and aren’t talkin’ down on my creative integrity
my pen and pad are essential, they centerpiece
droppin’ this art is just half the amenities
half of these losers thought they was offendin’ me
half of they posse claim they a necessity
but they still obsessin’ me
they sneakin’ a diss in they raps, i live in they head where the rent is free
while i’m rappin’ bout my longevity
i fought addiction for so long, thought it’d be the end of me
but i came to find a new remedy
i mended my former, my failure had tortured me endlessly
hard to share what i’ve been feeling with most
what i been dealin’ with most
the sh_t that had me by the neck up to the point that i choked
back when i boasted bout them money and b_tches that i ain’t ever had
and now i’m f_ckin living by the dreams i once wrote
this ain’t just a come up
b_tch, i’m the up and comin
rappin’ ain’t just a style, it’s what i’m huntin’
i got fans in some cities i’ve never muttered
now i’m chasin’ this sh_t, droppin’ heavy hitters
i got projects on projects i ain’t delivered
got me spittin’ my truth till i caught a sliver
of a life that i’d dreamed of livin’
life that i’m still tryna hold onto
but i ain’t quite there yet
till i can cut a check by check
share money with each of my friends
or got bread i’m willing to split with some people i’m not even close wit’ yet
got a feeling i’m close enough, but i got some time, this ain’t the end
n0gg1n

- biinjo

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