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big hoodoo - never had lyrics
[verse 1]
day one, it started when they told my mom to push me
i had to struggle since i first came up out the p-ssy
they say the drugs and the alcohol made her womb polluted
and all my thoughts and my actions will be convoluted
nude, full of tubes, barely clinging on to life
in the incubator, shakin’, like i’m on the pipe
doctors tell my mom be hopeful
but all she said is “f-ck ’em, i don’t want him
he’s better off dead.”
two months later, in this box which i call a crib
dried snot all on my face, and spit-up on my bib
i just lay around and wait for them to come and get me
cuz everytime that i cry someone comes to hit me
sh-t smeared all on my legs and all over the sheets
cuz my diaper ain’t been changed in about a week
the one they didn’t give a f-ck about, i guess i’m it
i’m not ashamed to admit
i never had sh-t
[hook]
i never had clothes!
i never had food!
i never had shoes!
i never had sh-t
i never had friends!
i never had toys!
i never had love!
i never had sh-t
i never had pets!
i never had bikes!
i never got hugs!
i never had sh-t
i never had milk!
i never had care!
i never got affection!
[verse 2]
i was molested as a child, i never told my momma
i thought it was my fault and didn’t want the drama
she would tell me “boy, i really f-ckin’ hate you
a curse on this world since the day i made you.”
they used to hang me up in the bas-m-nt by my toes
-ss naked, and spray me with the water hose
she used to beat me, with anything that was close
but, burning me with her pipe was what she loved the most
never took the time out to tell me that she loved me
but she went out of her way to make me feel ugly
no better time to kick a person than when he’s down
she slapped me so hard, for months i couldn’t hear a sound
only child, so i know she never did want me
and the torture that she put me through still haunts me
she put the coldness in my heart
that’s hard to lift
that’s why i’m not okay
i never had sh-t
[hook]
[verse 3]
i didn’t care much at all ‘cuz i’m on something other
already callous to the ridicule from my mother
i got jumped on the regular by school bullies
cuz i dress in all black and always wear hoodies
all my life she’s been telling me that i’m the worst
she d-mned me and my soul to h-ll, head first
the memories imbedded like a bad acid trip
i can’t forget about the fact
i never had sh-t
[hook]
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