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beth fowler - patterns lyrics

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[arlene]
patterns in my life that i trace every day
patterns as i say the things i always say
patterns in the ceiling as i lie awake
why are patterns haunting every move i make?

just look, here i am on cue again
upset, feeling torn in two again
afraid, saying i’m okay
making little jokes
’til i run away, again

and yet today i am not the same
i feel my life slipping from its frame
strange feelings rise, feelings with no name
and i can’t face them
so i shake them hard
fold them up
and tuck them safely away
again

patterns that begin as i walk through a door
patterns in the curtains and the kitchen floor
patterns in the day’s routines i must arrange
patterns in the ways i try… but never change
just look, as i’m thrown a curve again
i leap, then i lose my nerve again
in tears, running home i go
secretly relieved
safe with what i know again

and yet i know i am not the same
inside my heart is something i can’t tame
i feel my mind bursting into flame
and i must change
or else i’ll break apart
or break away
and end up having to start
again

patterns through the day i seem to use to give my life a shape
patterns through the house that give me comfort when i need escape
patterns that lead me nowhere
at all

- beth fowler

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