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asmr.education - escort story 1 كلمات أغنية

[intro]
nineteen
alone in my apartment
feeling like a bum not knowing what to do
no work for a few days
f_ck
pulled an all nighter because you know at the time i was raw d_gg_ng reality
no meds or therapy at the time
so i open my phone
on that site i found through digging online
find a girl i see i like
her rate was cheap
like 80 bucks
she looked alright
why not

[verse 1]
so i get in an uber
funny at the time i couldn’t even drive
now i’m driving in foreign lands with a certainty
but back to the ride
i get off to this motel on the side of 35
i go up thе stairs
a guy in shorts and a hoodie is looking out over the mеtal ledge takes a glance at me then looks back at the lot
i open the door
give her the money
she asks if i party
i say what do you mean by party?
and by that time she’s got a meth pipe out and rolling the rock on the bulb
so we do the deed
and at the end i found out she was ____ _ __
no operation neither
and so i just ask her to finish quick
i head back in a paid ride again
heart racing
oh man
i call my dad
even he doesn’t know what to do
[verse 2]
so i gotta figure sh_t on my own
god i just wanted to bone
pulled up to the hospital
they didn’t take me seriously
felt like trash because the nurse just gave me a recommendation of where to go
so i go to the clinic
tell them the story
she seemed understanding
sh_t i think she was even mad on my behalf
asked me which hospital
i hope they at least got a call
explained how because hiv can only really be stopped in the first forty eight hours
that i’ll have to come back for a test in a few weeks
but to take some prep anyway
got on those pills
prescription only like fifteen
i was surprised by that because you know these companies gouge the ones in need

[verse 3]
but that’s a story for another day
back to this
weeks go by
i go back for a test
all negative
what a wait off my chest
this was around the time my grandfather said he was disappointed in me
for dropping out of community college
now look at me now
in the place of my dreams
and despite this
one can only laugh
and be grateful for the educated who calmed me down
because you know at the time family and friends looked at me like a clown
what’s a teenager to do in times like these?
when you feel like you don’t go family
despite the ones saying they love you
make faces and talk behind your back like you’re crazy
now they just want the formula
but i still feel like a failure
i wish i can tell you to not be like me
but we’re all human
we all got skeletons
we all got those stories that we’ll take to our graves
i just wanna tell you that these things don’t make you a bad person
i won’t lie i think i’ll still be saved
[verse 4]
they don’t make you crazy
you just learned early
because these lessons can only be learned through living
f_ck a book
the greatest lessons in life first leave you shook
because those people had probably harder lives than me
i don’t like what they did to me
but wishing revenge on them is petty to me
scamming and scaring people for a check
but that’s just everyday in the us
and the week after getting called a disappointment
and people looking at you condescendingly
what a life i’ve lived
you can’t buy these lessons

[outro]
and i listen to (sir you can’t say this) get mocked for just kissing a trans woman
look at his struggles
look at his cousin
i can’t laugh because i’ve known those struggles
of having to hide
not being true
scared of who’s talking to who
sh_t
in the future i want to cut everyone off
that would be my dream
to be alone is all i’ve known
so please learn from me

- asmr education

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