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ascidzz - how do you feel كلمات الأغنية

[monologue: xianne marie]
uhmmm, you know, uhh, i sit in my room, you know, and a lot of times, i just, you know, think about… you know… how much i’ve done. and in reality, i haven’t really done a lot… um… especially by myself, you know all that, you know, like, “teenager sh-t”…ummm you know the teenager lifestyle where you have kids that can go out with their friends, and their parents don’t really give a f-ck

[verse 1: ascidzz]
yeah

i saw this girl in a walgreen’s, she looked just like you:
biker jacket and dark mood; reminiscent of white girl

hair flows like a river, the distant look in her eye, too
innocent as a child;
flex your patience inside you

ultimately you need a firm shoulder for you to cry to
she does that often, they think it’s false and thus they despise you

but i understand, knowing me you know i’m obliged to
no one listens to you and your blood boils inside you

why the f-ck would they claim that you ain’t ent-tled to your feelings just because of frivolous items they buy you
where’d they supply you as an individual human?
their investment in raising you in these cruel inst-tutions

instead duplicated in your room and throughout the brood, now you want to escape, but you don’t know how to —

but where the h-ll would you go?
babe, where the h-ll would you go?

[bridge: ascidzz]

restricted at every corner
encouraged to go inside
instilled in you you don’t want to
because there’s so much inside

but really all that means nothing
what’s wrong with seeing the sky
and feeling free cause you’re held against your will
i wish i

could do something, but all i can do is just sympathize
experience some of his life: hard on the other side

witnessing you get tortured, gets harder for you to cry
don’t let no one try to tell you how to feel

[verse 2: ascidzz]

i saw this girl in a walgreen’s, she looked just like you:
eyebrows and a nice smile; reminiscent of white girl

same color of your hair, the distant look in her eye, too
got excited, i thought it was you for a moment, but i know

ultimately you need a firm shoulder for you to cry to
she does that often, they think it’s false and thus they despise you

but i understand, knowing me you know i’m obliged to
no one listens to you and your blood boils inside you

notice you’re constantly changing:
my influence on you has impacted you in such a way that your body and mind conflict

it’s not something you’re used to:
you normally cruise through
nodding your head and doing whatever you are told to do

regardless of if it’s wrong
if you know, you internalize it
keep kissing -ss to these tyrants
look how limited your life is

when i was going through my sh-t
i put a knife to my wrist
popped some prescription medicine
hung myself in the closet

but my situation was much different, plus i’m a guy
and your parents aren’t so insensitive to hit you with objects

now i’m thinking about it:
“f-ck you, i hope you die, b-tch!”
back to the present problem:
where were we?

oh yeah, you basically walk around with an obli-
gation to please your parents
but they ain’t pleasing your needs
they’re running away from answers

you insist on the question;
they hit you with the hammer
belittle you about nonsense
you react to it and stammer

you going quiet and listening
not caring, but still you’re listening
another f-cking person that’s
boiling with resentment

[bridge 2: ascidzz]

restricted at every corner
encouraged to go inside
they tell you no when you want to
got bored of the stuff inside

what’s wrong with getting some air?
what’s wrong with seeing the sky
and feeling free cause you’re held against your will?
i wish i

could do something, but all i can do is just sympathize
relating some into his life, cause he knows what it’s like

continuing to get tortured, gets harder for you to cry
don’t let no one try to tell you how to feel

[verse 3: ascidzz]

“ascidzz you’re such an angry person
you’re such an angry person
a f-ck with others
then ask why everyone hates me person

they can’t see my pain
when it was deserved, attention searching
you need to watch your mouth
cause what you say can hurt a person

ascidzz you’re f-cking stupid
you’re caught in a f-cking stupor
you’re cancerous, cause damage
and keep spreading just like a tumor

recording songs on microphones
with made up stories, ascidzz?
you just hang with the bad kids
what kind of name is ‘ascidzz’?

i’ll tell your mother to come up here just to whip your -ss, kid
you know she will, so i would suggest that you fix your act quick

you say you don’t care?
let’s see if you do when you get stabbed, b-tch
i’ll call your family, an audience
all of them clapping

you’re finally out the way
we can proceed to feed the m-sses
with backwards -n-logies
speak, but don’t expect us to practice

you just get mad at everything:
look at you — why you angry?
you’re useless, ascidzz, no screw you ascidzz–”
no you betrayed me

i stopped writing lyrics in notebooks
cause you just take them
i don’t accept no more promises, why?
cause you just break them

i’ve been alone since i was the cause of my momma’s aching
i should’ve died from the deprovol that my mom was taking

the stains in my t–th symbolize the huge mistake she made in
keeping me and raising me to put sh-t like this down on paper

i wouldn’t have so much anger if you ain’t generate it
i’d maybe speak my mind if you didn’t extremely hate it

i wonder why since my brothers follow you in enslavement
your greys imminent, my open mind has closed all of your patience

you know what you did, you know that you f-cking screwed your -n-s
but you don’t care because you’re so stuck on your husband’s great d-ck

and all his money to keep supplying for all your babies
cause “you can’t do it alone, it’s too much” and “you can’t take it.”

so be submissive, don’t give a f-ck about who you’re missing
cause you keep texting me little snippets of movie scriptures

sentiment ignorance, have no patience for bigots you’ve turned my heart to an abyss, fall for eternity in it

like your grandmother in your dream
i’m waiting for mine with you in it
morning wake up is ground coffee
k!ll you and let it brew in it

[outro: xianne marie]
and it’s like, as i said the sentence, as it formed in my head– thousands of evidence came alomg with it. and that’s kinda why i can’t see right now. the idea that i’m a trophy child, you know? the idea that i’m a trophy period. see, like, babe, people use you because of your energy and because of your intelligence. and people use me because of my intelligence and because of all the things that i do. and, it really sucks, and she talks to her coworkers and her friends about how great i am and about how intelligent i am and you know, she tells me all the time about how people at her job all love me and she tells me all the time about how she tells people about the programs i’m in and the things that i do and how intelligent i speak and how much i can get done and how much i can do and how much potential i have. and every time all i do is i laugh and all i do is i giggle at it because it seems like i’m actually getting praised about something — but i’m not. it’s actually making her look better

- ascidzz

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