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april 1830 - flutter lyrics

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churning back through time.
white void open wide.
pulling at the eye, i glance. i’m
​born again. 
all the world is an alien bread underneath hoof these.
melted down with no longer a body_mind, only with mind_body.
in my mind, in a painting, some b_tter flies, flitting its wings from me.
blows a kiss and all airs turn to sand on me (fluttering beige_ish leaves).

i am the absence,
i’m hot chemical,
​and i’m on fire,
​but i don’t feel a thing at all;
​it’s numb, an empty dull.
let me be b_tter.
b_tter is a whole.
it swiftly flies.
i don’t move an inch,
​a greasy dark singularly wet bone.

flutter hard, but it don’t really change a thing;
​can’t even feel these wings.
flutter hard, but the ache doesn’t go away;
​freezing the lefthoof stain.
shifting cracks in a skull i no longer have
​screws in the inner eyes,
​and how i think of how graceful b_tter flies.
b_tter can flutter high.
shape this sculptured head,
​but not stone i dread.

stuck to the breadvas
nothing i can do but sleep in_and_out.
(breaea_aee!aeathe)
stuck to the bread, i
heal and i want to be b_tter instead.
(breaea_aee!aeathe)

breathe in my kind_of_almost_miracle.
oh, shan’t i die?
why don’t you put me back in the museum with other flies?
breathe out my spine, almost clerical,
and i’m on fire.
a caterpillar in the mud gets up.
look! he’s all dressed!
catter imagines painted statuettes.
they’re all of him
(the future him who will be beautiful b_tter in rain.)
and all i can ponder in stony cocoon
​is that i…
i truthfully don’t like the taste of milk, so take me home.

there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to push off here.
there’s no air to breathe in.
strength crawls out between dry ribs,
​keep my metaphysics in.
there’s no warmth inside me left.
there’s no air to breathe in.

- april 1830 lyrics

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