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antix - our father lyrics
[voiceover]
our father, who art in heaven
hallowed be thy name
thy kingdom come
thy will be done
on earth as it is in heaven
give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our tresp-sses
as we forgive those who tresp-ss against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil
for thine is the kingdom
and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever
amen
[verse 1]
yo
i guess i was a quiet kid, alone, reclusive
it didn’t help that i was always that new kid
i had a few friends, though i made a few
but every time i made one, i had to change school
’cause paps was in the military, momma had a stroke
she didn’t speak much, so i was all alone
my dad came home one night after a tour
and found me crying all alone behind the bedroom door
he could see that i was lonely, an need a guides
so he said he knew, just where i can find this
he said ,,son, i’m sending you to school, where you can live, make some friends and learn some rules
and find religion ’cause it’s good for your system
and helped me as a child, it gave me [?]”
so he packed my bags nd kissed momma on the cheek
and left for st. paul’s school for boys the next week
[chorus]
[?]
lord forgive me for the things i’ve done
but i don’t think that i’m doing too well
no, no
[?]
our father who keeps me in the cell
our father in h-ll
yo
[verse 2]
yo
at st. paul’s
the boys dind’t seem to like me
i spent my days mostly reading in the library
i spent my nights in my room on my own
tryna’ tick away the time ’til i was old enough to go
but then our [?] father had [?]
he was kind to me, and when i cried he would [?]
when i was scared he would come and keep me company
and he saw that i was down he would hug me
he was my friend, my only friend
he told me all about the devil and the sins
he taught me patience, kindness and forgiveness
and how to treat peple like your brothers and your sisters
but then one night father came into my room
with whiskey on his breath, in a different kind of mood
he took off all his clothes, turned out all the lights
and did things to me, i won’t forget for all my life !
[chorus]
[verse 3]
fathers visits became regular
with currents i would know what he wanted when he closed all the curtains
he said if i ever told someone or screamed
that the devil would come visit in my room while i sleep
but the devil he is here, he’s living in my head
he’s living in my heart, now he’s sleeping in my bed !
so take me from this place, i’m alone and i’m scared
and i wanna live my life without sleeping in this fear
but no one seems to hear, and no one seems to care
no matter if i cried i’m alone with my tears
alone with this pain, with this guilt and this shame
and after what i’ve been through i can never be the same
so christ if you’re listening, one of your children
needs you to save him before this torture k!lls him
i’m at the point where i can’t control these feelings
and right now i wanna jump off this f–king building !
[chorus]
[verse 4]
i grew up and i tried to live a life
i tried to fall in love, i even tried to learn to write
so i can take all this pain that’s inside
and let it out so it didn’t eat me up alive
but no matter where i went, he was in my head
watching as i waked, watching as i slept
watching as i tried to move on and forget
but the devil’s ever present and the devil never rest
i reached through a gun, i put it to my temple
past the point of hatred and resentful
i pulled the trigger off [?]
and the devil made [?] and jumped out off my mind
many years later they arrested him, he [?] what he did to other children
the church had known, and moved him all around
tryna’ [?]
something evil in that level of corruption
hypocrisy, to never say nothing
but never say never like the devil to his master
but i pray you never end up in the hands of
our father
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