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animatedjames - i'm a... lyrics

this song is either going to be really funny or really offensive
depending on the type of person you are
so, if you’re the type of person who, for some reason, was born without a sense of humor
don’t say i didn’t warn you

when i was born, my mom said, “you’ll be the greatest black guy until you’re dead
you’ll be physically welden out
and instead of talking at a normal volume, you’ll just shout
everything, you won’t know how to sing
you’ll learn how to rap and beat box like a hip hop king
you’ll have s_x at a young age
by the time you’re 14, you’ll already have aids; financial aids”

and what do you know, when i grew up, i couldn’t live up to my race
i learned how to sing, and i don’t make people’s ears ring
all of these signs point to one simple thing:

i’m a white guy, in a black guy’s body
it may be ironic, and really dumb
but it’s the only logical explanation for why i find afros unattractive
i’m a white guy, in a black guy’s body
it definitely isn’t the other way around
i could change my skin just like michael jackson
but then again, i don’t wanna look like e.t. if he was dipped in bleach

my dad tried to make me good at sports
even though i can barely last ten seconds on a court
he showed me music videos of hip hop artists that annoy me
if only he’d know that i don’t like soulja boy
because he doesn’t just tell’em, but he also annoys them
i also find it necessary to add the word “tipping” to my vocabulary
and now i’m writing a song that makes fun of my own race
it’s just a joke, please don’t write angry notes
i’ll just declare that you’re wrong and i’m right

’cause i’m a white guy, in a black guy’s body
it may be ironic, and really dumb
but it’s the only logical explanation for why i find long nails unattractive
i’m a white guy, in a black guy’s body
it definitely isn’t the other way around
i’m not as white as george bush, or ashton kutch… er
but i’m definitely whiter than that guy with a mustache on the pringles can

i’m a white guy in a black guy’s body
i can’t rap and i don’t know karate
i’m not that big if you know what i mean
in fact, i’m the smallest you’ve ever seen
i’m only 5 foot 6
reverse the numbers, you got a player for the knicks
by the way, what’s a “knicks”?

i act stuck up and kind of gay
i’m always on time for work every day
with an eating disorder, i don’t eat enough
and i’m not into athletic stuff
i’m always impatient and in a hurry with a foreign accent as bad as tim curry
wait, is tim curry white? in that case, never mind
why? because i’m a white guy in black guy’s body
it sounds pretty stupid and really wrong
but its the only logical explanation for why i wrote this freaking song
i’m a white guy in a black guy’s body
do you have any other reasoning for why i tip waiters and spell correct haters
and why i puked out a white guy’s arm?

blegh!
i just lost feeling in my right arm

- animatedjames

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