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andrew rannells & josh gad - "that was the opening number!" lyrics
[doug, spoken]
that was the opening number
[bud, spoken]
and the prologue
[doug, spoken]
we’re just trying to give you a sense of the world of schlimmer
[bud, spoken]
it’s a tiny town
[doug, spoken]
the kind of town where anything can happen
and now we start the story
scene two, gutenberg’s wine press shop
the roof is made of dirty thatch
there are shelves filled with old wine bottles
and we meet helvetica, a german girl who’s beautiful
but doesn’t know it
she stands in a bucket, stomping on grapеs
gutenberg entеrs
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
gutenberg!
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
have you seen my dream journal?
i had an amazing dream last night and i want to turn it into a poem
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
a poem? will you read it to me?
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
journals are private
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
yes, sir
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
oh, i almost forgot, here’s a flower
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
oh, it’s beautiful
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
i got it from that horrible anti_semitic flower girl, destroy it
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
yes, sir
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
there will be no hatred in my shop
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
are you hungry?
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
yes
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
do you want me to bake a lamb for you?
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
no, but i would like some stew
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
stew? lamb stew? right away, sir
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
good girl, i love ewe
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
you love me?
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
no, i love ewe, e_w_e, ewe
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
e_w_who?
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
ewe
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
me?
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
stew, female lamb stew
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
i don’t understand
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
why can no one in this town read?
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
we have nothing to read
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
i see, that is the problem
if you need me i’ll be in my wine pressing room, pressing wine
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
here’s your stew, i made it hot and ready
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
thank you, barbara
[bud as helvetica, spoken]
helvetica
[doug as gutenberg, spoken]
helvetica, yes
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