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andrew rannells & josh gad - festival! lyrics
[doug, spoken]
scene four
the next morning
today is the day of the german celebration
known as “festival”
[bud, spoken]
dawn is beginning to break over the town of schlimmer
beef fat trimmer steps forward
through the stinky morning mist
[doug _ beef fat trimmer] (bud _ helvetica)
the sun, it rises in the east
i smell bread rising with the yeast
for today is no ordinary day
it’s the day… of festival
(today i dance)
this sun, it rises in the east (at festival)
(in lederhosen pants)
i smell bread rising with the yeast
(yeah, that’s the festival)
[both as beef fat trimmer and daughter]
for today is no ordinary day
it’s the day of festival
[bud, spoken]
we see gutenberg pulling a wagon
with the printing press inside
it is covered with a sheet
he is going to the town square
he still does not know the printing press has been destroyed
[doug as johan gutenberg]
they’ll go nuts
and lift me in their arms
when i show ‘em my press
i’m takin’ to festival
[bud as helvetica]
oh gutenberg, i’m sorry
[doug as johan gutenberg]
i’m so psyched!
[bud as helvetica]
forgive me!
[doug (as johan gutenberg)]
i’ll be even more well liked!
[bud (as helvetica)]
and the town will have his head
once they see the printing press is dead!
(as daughter)
today i dance
[doug _ beef fat trimmer (bud _ helvetica)]
the sun, it rises in the east
(oh gutenberg)
[bud as daughter]
at the festival
[doug _ gutenberg (bud _ helvetica)]
gutenberg, gutenberg, gutenberg, gutenberg, gutenberg
(will you ever for_)
[bud as daughter]
in lederhosen pants
[doug _ beef fat trimmer] (bud _ helvetica)
the sun is rising
(i smashed your press)
[bud as daughter]
that’s the best
[doug _ gutenberg] (bud _ helvetica)
gutenberg, gutenberg, gutenberg, gutenberg, gutenberg
(now i’m a mess)
[both as all]
for today is no ordinary day
it’s the day…
[bud as daughter]
the blessed day
[both as all]
…of festival
[both as drunk #1 and drunk #2, spoken]
it’s the festival!
[doug as drunk #1, spoken]
i’m still drunk!
[bud as drunk #2, spoken]
i’m always drunk!
[both as drunk #1 and drunk #2]
festival
it’s the best of all
it’s the crest of all our desires
festival
take the rest of all of the festivals
to the fires
[doug as drunk #1]
there is so much food and drink
[bud as drunk #2]
there’s just enough to make you faint
[doug as drunk #1]
i we should all be tickled pink
[both as drunk #1 and drunk #2]
i’m tellin’ y’all, let’s dance!
[doug as johan gutenberg, spoken]
it’s monk!
[bud as monk]
don’t forget, i met the devil
in a haunted german wood
i’m a terrible monk and i’ve got a plan
and it’s happenin’ like it should!
now the girl’s in trouble
and his press is rubble
and his guten_bubble’s gonna burst!
ha!
i’ll just wait and see
wine man mr. g
as they roast him like a bratwurst
ha!
[doug as young monk]
why does he have to be so bad?!
[bud as flower girl]
i’ve got daffodils
and some roses too
but you can’t have one
(spoken)
because you’re a jew!!!
[doug as johan gutenberg]
oh flower girl!
why must you have this ridiculous hatred of the jews?
it’s irrational and it’s wrong
it hurts me to see my fellow townspeople
acting this way
just think of where all this hatred could lead
before you know it
we could be in the middle
of a second world war
and that’s why i have something under this sheet
that could unite us all
[bud, spoken]
everyone gasps
[doug as johan gutenberg, spoken]
oh no!
[bud as monk, spoken]
well, well, well
what have we here?
[doug as johan gutenberg, spoken]
it was a… printing press
[bud as monk, spoken]
a printing press?!
what’s that for?
[doug as johan gutenberg, spoken]
it was going to… change the world
[bud as monk, spoken]
get him!
[doug, spoken]
the townspeople converge
and attack gutenberg
they are filled with irrational mob mentality
and soon collect wood
light a fire
and burn gutenberg alive
lights shift
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