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amityp - parasocialite كلمات أغنية

from the beginning there was trouble, something was amiss
an emotional intolerance, a processing glitch
giving me a headache or a migraine, don’t know which is which
and if i can only know by innate human nature when will that begin?

heartbreak, heartburn, cardiac arrest
all the same to a vessel of perceptive brickwall compression
am i sick? am i certain? am i all of me?
i can learn how much of this is true by studying examples on the screen

receiving complex feelings when words are all that thеy’ve said
my deficiency’s clеar
see all the signs of that unattainable other side
an imposter is already human so it stands to reason
that this incongruent creature has so much farther to go so just pretend

just pretend
any mistake could be the end
and tip my hand that i’ve always been dead inside
this thing that i am, undefinable, must surely be malicious
so i’ll save you through ego suicide

i’m done, i’m complete, my head is empty
hollowed out in favor of traits i can seize from the lovable
surely to be the sum of them is better than this
conscripted compulsive gourmand sin eater
ah, i’m so tired of these human things
eternally polite to me
a florid parasocialite
i’m sorry, becoming you is all i know
please understand it’s also all i need

now come along and celebrate my flawless infiltration
acceptance of this idiosyncratic amalgamation
lock eyes hidden by my hair
i don’t know which face i should wear
my heart is pounding
head is spinning
smile stapled on
i wanna die

let this quiet last forever

see the facade crumple in photos taken over time
the mask is unrecognizable
yet still it’s been admitted as
incontrovertible evidence that i’m one of them

it’s all pretend!
it’s all pretend
this whole devil’s social contract
with the ones who share the skin but won’t spare me from the lie
even the vermin and the sinners are entitled to that dignity
so what need i do to earn that right?
ah, if the body’s missing something imperceptible
then i can only assume that it’s the soul
so won’t you pour all your pity on this
charming helpless victim of imposter marionette crush syndrome

ah, step on me, spit in my hair
churn your fury to delight on me
a lurid social parasite
if hatred is what begets honesty
then with some time i’ll know the flavour of your mind

now this practical ego suicide resulted in a game in which
i see how well i can know you before you know my name
it’s just the product of my boredom rotting on a stage
where i’m performing in a predetermined foolish masquerade

i just wanna be good enough to wanna to be alive except
despite the mind’s indifference, the body just survives
there’s nothing that connects the two so i’m only left wondering
which one of them am i?

ah, let it end, this pathetic existence eschewing happiness for minimizing pain
come on, set the stage, pull the curtain
flay the skin and fold the mask into part of me again

ah, feast your eyes
isn’t this feeling familiar
a perfectly coagulated personality
there’s only happiness for happy people
so tune in and learn the flavor of a robot_eared smile from me

ah, i can’t get enough of these human things
fodder for this neural appetite
your favorite parasocialite _ ミ★
i did it
your ordered metamorphosis
but i don’t think this is who i’m meant to be

- amityp

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