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alyxai - the reason i wanted to die كلمات الأغنية

[music]

if i had the reason why i wanted to die
it would be from the gulls that were squawking on the pier
floating farther at the waves then again to reappear
only to fly away and bring my past along

if i had the reason why i wanted to die
it would be that the apricots blossomed on my birthday
if i napped beneath the leaves blowing slightly in the breeze
could i become the soft soil, die then turn to dust

mint candy, lighthouse by the water
a rusted arch bridge, that one bicycle left to rot
alone by the stove in the wooden station
there’s nowhere left for my heart to make an escape

today felt the same as the day yesterday
“if we want to change tomorrow, we should change today!”
i understand i understand
nonetheless

if i had the reason why i wanted to die
it would be that my heart stopped beating and hollowed out
i’m not satisfied with life, that’s the reason why i cry
i’m sure that things could turn up if i were to become content
[music]

if i had the reason why i wanted to die
it would be from my shoelaces that became untied
and i’ve never been that good at connecting them again
just how i fail to connect to the world around

if i had the reason why i wanted to die
it would be that a teenager stared right at me
as i’m kneeling at my bed thinking far off in my head
i’m apologizing to who i was that day

the dim light from my computer
the sounds of life that i can hear from above
a bird_caged boy sits there, holding his ears
trying to block that interphone chime

i’m fighting with an enemy i can’t even see
in this 10 by 10 room like don quixote
and in the end, i don’t know what i’m fighting for

if i had the reason why i wanted to die
it would be that i was called cold_hearted again
i don’t feel like i am loved, that’s the reason i feel numb
i just wish for that warmth of love that i cannot forget
[music]

if i had the reason why i wanted to die
it would be that you smile much too beautifully
and the reason why i can’t stop thinking about my death
is that i take living my life much too seriously

if i had the reason why i wanted to die
it would be that i still hadn’t met you yet
if this world were more like you, warmer and with kindness too
i think that i would like this world a little more
if this world were more like you, warmer and with kindness too
i think that i would have a little more hope for the world

[music]

- alyxai

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