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ally choi - solo-r power: a playground for me, myself, and i كلمات الأغنية

letter to lorde

hi lorde!

currently listening to my sweet lord and singing ‘mm my lorde’ in my head haha
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i wore the color yellow today. it’s kind of more of a chartreuse. it’s an old gap tshirt that my mom’s friend bedazzled ‘diva’ onto for their girls trip to vegas back in the day. i love that i can wear it today and that theres a story behind it beyond racks and racks of retail. and i hope to meet some girlfriends here that i can go on those very kinda trips with
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my favorite lyrics from the album:
you’re gonna love again, so just try staying open
and when the time comеs, you’ll fall
yeah, when the timе comes, you’ll fall
spend all the evenings you can with the people who raised you
see your silver chain levitate
when you’re kick_flipping
are you coming, my baby?
just.. chefs kiss mwah
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i wanted to tell u how much of an inspiration u are to me. whenever i receive these bulletins (which i very much look forward to by the way!) i get loads of inspiration just from the diction u use. u see im an aspiring creative writing major and i collect words. major nerd here, i know. i’m writing this while waiting in line to get my package at the community center of my dorm, feeling grownup and kiddish all at once in my sparkly faded neon shirt and cl!ck clack_y steve madden slipper platforms, rocking on my heels while my thumbs go type type type. (sorry to get all descriptive there, just wanted to give u an image.)
anyways, so i collect words, which i eventually form into little blurbs or what i call ‘vibes,’ then which hopefully make a home into stories of mine. in one of ur first emails (i think?) you said “the garden is exploding, a riot of flowers and bees” and that launched me into an entire scene, which made its way into a whole thing. i’m still very much a beginner at writing, but i rly want to do it if not just for me to read over and over again giddily. but i feel like i have things to tell to the world
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i just started classes; 2 of them are writing ones and my favorites and since they both happen to be on tuesdays and thursdays, those are my look_forward_to days. i don’t have synesthesia like u but in my head tues/thurs are colored more orange/yellow than mon/wed/fri which feel more blue/green/purple to me. anyways, so in my class called creative obsessions, (we write abt our obsessions bc apparently we write with more care and it’s just better over all when we’re talking abt things we care abt. who would’ve thought right?! ) on the first day we had to introduce ourselves along with a recent obsession to share with the class. i, of course, said solar power and talked a bit about how much it related to my current life and how listening to it with the music box visuals makes the whole experience even more enhanced and lovely. im hoping at least one of them went home and listened to solar power so we can eventually go to the detroit show together
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back to the whole inspiration via bulletin thing these are things ive listed..
_first with ur mom?s advice_ “writing is a practice, it’s something you have to do over and over to keep being in touch with”. to get good at writing, you’ve just gotta write. everyday. and so im trying. its hard but im learning to love the struggle. writing is like walking a tightrope. taut, wobbly suspended, ages off the ground. i toe the line between insecurity and gratification. but as satisfying as the finished product is, im starting to like the muddling through, following instinct part the most. it remains the most memorable and rewarding
_then the annie dilliard line “how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” this came up in one of the nyt letter of recommendations my class used as a reading and i instantly thought of u and how the connections between everything were apparent and just throbbing in front of me, blinking with the sun rays fl!cking in through the windows, and it was all spooky and cool. thanks to this quote ive been really trying to be mindful of the choices i make everyday and how i spend my time (not just lying in bed consuming endless scores of mindless media). dont think im a tattoo kind of girl (they’re so cool tho) but if i were to get one, id say this quote is it. with a little sun next to it in honor of solar power ofc 🙂
_not a songwriter here (maybe one day) but my notes app is definitely a sort of mythical zone and time capsule for me too. i checked my count the other day to see how bad it was and it turns out i’ve reached one hundred notes in my writing folder alone! 306 in icloud notes all together. don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, personally think it’s a sign of mental illness
_ive been exploring places all around campus to try to find my place and there’s a rly cool, always empty dance studio in the bas_m_nt of my building. went in there the other day and just let solar power run while i improved and closed my eyes. it was more therapeutic than anything
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my online friend who i’ve known for two yearsish? now left social media today. and i’m so happy for her. it feels like
she really cherished ur music and kind of got me into it i guess, without me knowing. seeing her so excited abt u made me get excited and it was a whole contagious thing. and now ur one of my favorite artists. so this girl and our other friend, the three of us sort of make a trio and with one of us leaving it feels like a death of some sort. it’s also suni’s (the one not leaving (sharing their name bc it sounds like sunny which i thought you’d like)) eighteenth birthday today and that makes us all 18 and technically adults. the switch shouldn’t be flipped that quickly but it really feels like we’re all growing up and leaving each other to experience the real world and it’s just crazy. crazy bittersweet things all at once. i’m emotional and have to do so many things and am thinking everything all at once but i think that’s what youth is about. the past two weeks have been the most hectic of my life but i’m loving it. i went to my first party and it sucked and i took it as a good thing because ive experienced it now and can know more about myself. and also truly belt ‘crying in the dark at your best friends’ parties/ you’ve had enough, gotta turn the lights up, go home’ bc i felt that sh_t
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i went on a backpacking trip this summer and completely reconnected with nature there. how cruel and fitting of u to release solar power the single while i was away and ditched my phone for 2 weeks. i remember coming back and flipping out
on this trip i met new people, reconnected with one old one, and hiked about 33 miles. i hadn’t showered or seen an actual toilet in a week (we were really roughing it out there) but i was living in utter bliss. i had so many revelations and climax_of_the_book type moments, breathed in some once in a lifetime views (patagonia postcard type landscapes), and opened myself up in an otherwise anxiety_filled, hermited introvert year. i camped in the mountains, along rivers, slept under the stars, got a million mosquito bites on the first night alone, and found god. i could write a whole email on it alone, but this is already getting pretty long so ill just explain it in this one bit i have from my journal_ “i’m in the middle of nowhere, on the move, with people i just met two days ago, but it feels like i’m home.” that’s how it felt. wanted to share because solar power feels like a series of self_discovery, vulnerable, revelation_type moments spun into a bright gold disc. exchanging one transcendental memory for another
pics of a golden hour moment in the marble mountains:

also a spindly tree shot i thought came out pretty cool (mid hike on the longest day):

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also think vincent’s solar power pizza looks so bomb. wanna have a big dinner party with all the cool people invested in the solar power universe
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also hope one day u collab with bts, that would be wicked. all such deep, down to earth people, my biggest inspirations. (other than my mom lol)
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sorry this got so long, but if u happen to stumble upon it, i hope you had a good time reading it. the whole thing is messy and unorganized and kind of a word vomit of thoughts instead of a letter or proper email. i would fix it up but i think ud understand and also i have loads of homework to do. like loads. and new ppl and things to experience. so i’ll just leave it as is. i hope you have the best week and get lots of sun, get to belt your album (how crazy is that, ur very own album), and drink in hopefully a thrill or two. i think im gonna go down to the tennis courts just to watch people and listen to 400 lux now
love you endlessly!
ally from san francisco (well since college it’s michigan but home will always be sf to me <3 )

- ally choi

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