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alan jay lerner & lyrics

[quartet]
one time this was a very quiet planet
the reason was n0body was around
but then one day, jehovah, who began it
got bored and clamped a couple on the ground
and right away when man and woman came here
they took a peek and nature took its course
he said, “i love you”
and she answered, “same here”
and love became the greatest human force

and from then and through the ages
it was love, love, lovе!
from the peasant to the sagеs
it was love, love, love!
man and woman soon discover
when they set out to explore
all the world loves a lover
but a lover loves it more
everybody was devoted to it:
love, love, love!
until they all were bloated with it:
love, love, love, love, love!

for suddenly the mind of man was changing
he started moving on in greater haste
and perspective took a drastic rearranging
for love and home had finally been replaced
they discovered something better than affection
far more rugged that a hug could ever be
and they started in a happier direction
leaving love beneath the good old apple tree
what is this thing that’s better than spring?
what thing is this that’s better than a kiss?
what is the “x” that’s bigger than s_x?
what could it be? what could it be? what could it be?

[soloist]
it’s progress
where every man can be a king
why, next to progress
love’s a juvenile thing
yes, with progress
your chance to hit the top is great
one year you may need a loan
and the following year you own new york state
yes, it’s progress

[quartet]
now that’s the life for you

[soloist]
where you can make a pile a day

[quartet]
oh, it’s incred’ what you can do

[soloist]
why, next to progress
[quartet]
you don’t need brains at all

[soloist]
love is dull as croquet

[quartet]
just a h_lluva lot of gall

[soloist]
yes, with progress

[quartet]
a tom, or d_ck, or hank

[soloist]
why, there’s a world to make and hold

[quartet]
might any day buy you a bank

[soloist & quartet]
you start a clerk underneath
and the following year your t__th are all gold

[quartet]
one day the prices begin to soar
you made a living, now you need more
you’re getting frantic
you’re running short
you have a family
you must support
[soloist]
and when you think it’ll never stop
there is a sudden awful drop

[quartet]
it’s a panic!
it’s a recession!
it’s a depression!
it’s a crash!

it’s progress
where every man can own the skies
to win with progress
just industrialize
yes, it’s progress
the only way to happiness
no greater love could there be
than for p_r_o_g_r_e_double_s!

- alan jay lerner

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