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afroman - if it ain't free lyrics
intro:
ladies and gentlemen, h0m-s-xuals, lesbians and transvest-tes
i am your platter spinnin’ poppa, your whoopa whoppa, your g-mosavé from the mohavé
sellin’ weed out the alley of the anti-dope valley…
rollin’ like a tumbleweed through pimpville, pimpafornia…
i’m the hungry hustler, afro m-th-‘ f-ckin’ m-a-n
givin’ a shout out to all these parasites (parasites?…you understand me?)
these mosquitos (mosquitos), mosquite ho’s
swarmin’ around my wallet tryin’ to suck me dry (h-ll yeah)
but money come too haaard…to give it all to a woman (i know that’s right, h-ll yeah)
we all do stupid things….payin’ too much for p-ssy don’t have to be one of em’
so fellas, don’t get p-ssy-whoopped (say what?)….
whoop that p-ssy (while yer bullshuttin’…looky here boy)
and we ain’t talkin’ bout all women (henh)…
but if the maxipad fits, go ahead and wear it b-tch (henh….do you undersmell me?)
(check this out loco) babay (uhoh), you are the woman…of my dreams
(yes you…go on an do your thang)
and i really want to put a woman like you…..somewhere on my team
you have a sense of humor (unh..c’mon) you s-xy and you smart (you so intelligent)
but when you tried to take my money, honey…you broke my f-ckin’ heart
(c’mon cuz…where you at loco? …you broke my f-ckin’ heart)
i said baby, yeah i need you…to step on out my car
(step on out my car….don’t forget your panties and your bra)
cuz now i know exactly what you are…
(ladies and gentlemen, fresh off parole…the quarterpiece quartet)
chorus:
you gold diggin’ b-tch…usin’ yer p-ssy tryin’ to get rich…maybe
(what you say baby? you need some what? you need some money?)
if your p-ssy ain’t free…it’s not for me, baby
(you know you f-cked up, don’t ya? you know you f-cked up, don’t ya? don’t ya?)
you’s a gold diggin’ b-tch…usin’ yer p-ssy tryin’ to get rich…maybe
(n-n-n-n-n-n-no…you’d…you better not skip this song, you better not skip this song)
if your p-ssy ain’t free (sh-t)…it’s not for me, (i’ll be sittin’ up there) baby
(watchin’ them male bashers ricky lake and queen latifah, so listen to this sh-t, biatch)
see, i finally figured out why these ho’s be hoin’…
p-ssy is the only thing a b-tch got goin’
it must be sunday, cuz you got no cl-ss…
with the g-string goin’ up the crack o’yer -ss (crack o’yer -ss)
yo, you didn’t speak back when i spoke to you (spoke to you)
why? do i look broke to you?
you put your head down, baby, then you p-ssed me (p-ssed me)
you hit the dance floor and started dancin’ nasty (nasty)
and it’s a trip when a stripper start to strip
all the home boys feel obligated to tip
baby, even though i love the way you grease your thighs
i’m savin’ my money for some chile cheese fries
please! don’t make me laugh ho (laugh ho)
take yo gold diggin’ hands off my afro (afro)
give you money for dancin’? come on boo
i wouldn’t give it to you, if you let me c-m on you
ooh i never found a gold diggin’ woman arousin’
i’m a stingy black boy from the year two thousand
payin’ a broad is preposterous…
unless you stick your d-ck down her esophagus (eww)
and even if you did that, you still a trick…(still a trick)
you need to make the woman pay for your d-ck (you know..)
you the one huffin’
you the one puffin’
she the one layin’ there, ain’t doin’ nuthin’
and i bet you ate the p-ssy hopin’ for good luck
nine times outta ten you didn’t get your d-ck sucked
b-tch too busy, thinkin’ bout
takin’ all the money out yer bank account
so get out my cadillac, real slow…
and go back home to your dil-do
if your lookin’ for a trick, miss gold digger…
you need to go talk to a old n-gga
you gold diggin’ b-tch…usin’ yer p-ssy tryin’ to get rich…maybe
(all these little undercover prost-tutes, cuz)
if your p-ssy ain’t free…it’s not for me, baby
(get to the house and the b-tch stick out her hand and sh-t)
you’s a gold diggin’ b-tch…usin’ yer p-ssy tryin’ to get rich…maybe
(you know…i ain’t tryin’ to be too n-ggerish on the microphone, you know what i’m sayin’ cuz?)
if your p-ssy ain’t free…it’s not for me, baby (hey, let’s flip it with finesse, for the ladies)
(honey) man, this girl walked up to me the other day… (you can’t have my money)
i ain’t even f-ckin’ her…she want me to jeopardize my life…
take her to the wrong neighborhood way across town…
(honey) and got mad at me when i asked her for some money for some gas in my cadillac
(you can’t have my money) i told her like this eyea! b-tch i ain’t playin’
it ain’t like you my woman…..you know what i’m sayin’?
talkin’ bout a man s’posed to take care of a woman
i told her like sugar free, i said now wait a minute baby, hold on (hold on)
that’s drama…naw, naw, that’s some sh-t you got from your mama
now i ain’t fixin’ to break nary fingernail goin “oops” upside yo head
talkin’ bout “take me shopping”
i told her like “be legit”…check this sh-t out, i say, hey man
i said”hit me when your welfare check is comin’…
and maybe we can go to the mall, or sumpin’…punk b-tch
(hey what’s nate dogg tell them b-tches man? hey let me concentrate and say..)
cuz i-i-i (uh-oh) have never met a girl (whay you playin’ me…hey comeon y’all)
that i love, in the whole wide world
(what ice cube say, hey check it out, he say)
last night she sucked my d-ck…
now she kissin’ little man…
won’t he suck my d-ck and let’s cut out the middleman-man-man-man-man-man-man-man
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