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afroman - crazy rap (palmdale sessions) lyrics
[intro]
yeah, la-da-da-da-da-da, baby
[chorus]
said colt 45 and two zigzags baby that’s all we need
we can go to the park, after dark
smoke that tumbleweed
as the marijuana burn we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
so roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
feelin’ high as h-ll flyin’ through palmdale
skatin’ on dayton rims
so roll, roll, the ’83 cadillac coupe deville
if my tapes and my cds just don’t sell, i bet marijuana will
[verse 1]
well it was just sundown in small white town
they call it east side palmdale
when the afroman walked through the white land
houses went up for sale
well i was standing on the corner sellin’ rap cds
when i met a little girl named jan
i let her ride in my caddy
because i didn’t know her daddy was the leader of the ku klux klan
we f-cked on the bed, f-cked on the floor
f-cked so long i grew a f-ckin’ afro
then i f-cked to the left, f-cked to the right
she sucked my d-ck ’til the sh-t turned white
thought to myself sheeba-sheeba
got my -ss lookin’ like a zebra
i put on my clothes and i was on my way
until her daddy pulled up in a chevrolet
and so i ran i jumped out the back window
but her daddy he was waitin’ with a two-by-four
oh, he beat me to the left, he beat me to the right
the motherf-cker whooped my -ss all night
but i ain’t mad at her prejudiced dad
that’s the best d-mn p-ssy i ever had
got a bag of weed and a bottle of wine
i’m gonna f-ck that b-tch just one more time
[chorus]
said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need
we can go to the park, after dark
smoke that tumbleweed
as the marijuana burn we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
so roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
feelin’ high as h-ll flyin’ through palmdale
skatin’ on dayton rims
so roll, roll, the ’83 cadillac coupe deville
if my tapes and my cds just don’t sell, i bet marijuana will
[verse 2]
i met this lady in hollywood
she had green hair but d-mn she looked good
i took her to my house because she was fine
but she whooped out a d-ck that was bigger than mine
i met this lady from j-pan
never made love with an african
i f-cked her once, i f-cked her twice
i ate that p-ssy like shrimp-fried rice
don’t be amazed at the stories i tell ya (tell ya)
i met a woman in the heart of australia
had a big b-tt and big t-tties too
so i hopped in her -ss like kangaroo
see i met this woman from hawaii
stuck it in her -ss and she said “aiee”
lips was breakfast, p-ssy was lunch
then her t-tties busted open with hawaiian punch
i met colonel sanders wife in the state of kentucky
she said i’d fry some chicken if you’d just f-ck me
i came in her mouth, it was a crisis
i gave her my secret blend of herbs’ n’ spices
[chorus]
said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need
we can go to the park, after dark
smoke that tumbleweed
as the marijuana burn we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
[verse 3]
i met dolly parton in tennessee
her t-tties were filled with hennessy
that country music drove me crazy
but i rode that -ss and said, “yes, miss daisy”
met this lady in oklahoma
put that p-ssy in a coma
met this lady in michigan
i can’t wait ’til i f-ck that b-tch again
met a real black girl down in south carolina
f-cked her until she turned into a white albino
f-cked this hooker in iowa
i f-cked her on credit, so i owe her
f-cked this girl down in georgia
came in her mouth, man i thought i told ya
met this beautiful s-xy ho
she just ran across the border of mexico
fine young thing said her name’s maria
i wrapped her up just like a hot tortilla
i wanna get married but i can’t afford it
i know i’m’a cry when she get deported
[chorus]
said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need
we can go to the park, after dark
smoke that tumbleweed
as the marijuana burn we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
so roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
feelin’ high as h-ll flyin’ through palmdale
skatin’ on dayton rims
so roll, roll, the ’83 cadillac coupe deville
if my tapes and my cds just don’t sell, i bet marijuana will
[bridge]
when i say “afro”, you say “man”
afro, afro
when i say “afro”, you say “man”
afro, afro
when i say “smoke some”, you say “weed”
smoke some, smoke some
when i say “smoke some”, you say “weed”
smoke some, smoke some
[interlude]
aye, y’all make some noise right about now
la-da-da-da-da-da
i wanna thank y’all for playin’ this song over the years, you know what i’m sayin’?
let me bust this last verse right quick, i’ma take y’all away, man, check me out, you don’t stop
[verse 4]
have you ever went over a girl’s house to f-ck
but the p-ssy just ain’t no good
i mean you gettin’ upset because you can’t get her wet
you in the wrong neighborhood
so you try to play it off and eat the p-ssy
but it take her so long to c-m
then a dude walk in, her big boyfriend
and he asks you where you from
so you wipe your mouth and you try to explain
you start talking real fast
but he already mad cause you f-cking his woman
so he start beating on you -ss, check
now your clothes all muddy
your nose all bl–dy
your d-ck was hard but now it’s soft
you thought you had a girl to rock your world
and you still gotta go jack off
[chorus]
said colt 45 and two zigzags baby thats all we need
we can go to the park, after dark
smoke that tumbleweed
as the marijuana burn we can take our turn
singin’ them dirty rap songs
stop and hit the bong like cheech and chong
and sell tapes from here to hong kong
so roll, roll, roll my joint, pick out the seeds and stems
feelin’ high as h-ll flyin’ through palmdale
skatin’ on dayton rims
so roll, roll, the ’83 cadillac coupe deville
if my tapes and my cds just don’t sell, i bet marijuana will
[outro]
man, man
man, man
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