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act - reflection lyrics
[intro: the act]
can’t stand at ease
low self-esteem
screen is a window
portal to my soul
see right through me
all that’s left is a hole
i hate the sound of my voice
i’m stuck with the noise
can’t stand at ease
low self-esteem
screen is a window
portal to my soul
see right through me
all that’s left is a hole
[verse 1: the act]
this is a
critical self-reflection
sleepless nights, result in depression
criticizing, to the point of insanity
extra attention, to this d-mn vanity
like a detective
see every detail with an inspection
not to mention, i remember every mistake
ever made, every scene, every take
recorded and stored in my memory banks
and replayed in my brain
whenever i try to rest and sleep
unwind, undo, rewind, replay
in my dreams
thanks, no thanks
n0body but me to blame
i’ve looked for an escape
dead end in every lane
i’m no superman, but she’s my lois lane
fond moments are gone
cause i washed them down the drain!
there isn’t any pain, just so much regret
think about it every day, it’s got me a little upset
i feel like an idiot, filled with detest
and an anger in my chest
no wisdom
i’m still a f-ckin’ little kid
18 years lived, and i still don’t know sh-t
i don’t know what love is
not because i’ve never been loved
no, quite the opposite
i’ve just been too stupid
to cherish it
least i acknowledge it
so i forgot
now there’s a fog
‘causin’ a mental block
can’t get over it
weighed down by chains and locks
holdin’ me to the earth
a lesson left to learn
caused you so much hurt, i deserve to burn
it is what i have earned
the paycheck for which i worked
a pain-check
something i accept
i’m the one who stacked the deck
i expect no less
godd-mnit, i make no sense
it’s like a noose around my neck
cuttin’ off the blood to my head
i’d take my last breath
but i’m cursed with undeath…
[bridge]
[verse 2: the act]
yeah, i had it all with you
but i really dropped the ball
kept movin’ on without lookin in the rearview
what i’d do just to be near you
i wasn’t seeing things clear, you
gotta understand
my vision was foggy and faded
and our relationship degraded
cause i was acting so jaded
i look back now, and i hate it!
i see a mirror and i break it
and it is not painless
the pain is, what i get for being brainless
i don’t wanna make excuses
but my thoughts were f-cked
and i was so clueless
as to
what was in front of me, now i’m just stuck
i wish i could go back and re-do this
shake myself the f-ck up, it’s bullsh-t
i hurt you, and everything is ruined
but i really had no idea
if you think i knew it
that’s not what the truth is
i can’t believe how badly i blew it
but i deserve everything i get now
to suffer and struggle through it
lie awake every night and review it
it taints my dreamscape
and it seems late
but i am so f-ckin’ sorry
i keep things as a keepsake
to remind me of my deep pain
so i don’t forget, e-late
i know you can re-late
i don’t want to teach hate
i’m an -ssh0l-, and i was angry
at every curve ball, twist and turn
that life served froze on home plate
home is a battleground, no escape
i’ll never know what it means to be home safe
i dove and all i got was road burn
what i really need is some closure
i can’t ask for your forgiveness
because everything we had is over
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