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4ria - my mind is a machine gun/my heart is a time bomb lyrics

[intro]
ah, it’s an amazing machine, sir

[verse 1]
the pain, it plays a major role
unfolding with all the harsh effects
the nature of my rage is cold, it may result in sharp regret
my aims and my goals worth an arm and a leg
while i’m starting to dread all this, pardon the mess
say this sh_t with my chest despite my motherf_cking heart defect
well, surprise, surprise
now, you all know how i will die
either that or a suicide, don’t be too surprised
b_tch, you knew the vibe and still proved to lie in pursuit of my time
like perfume, i provide a nice aura
beautiful that you apply to be suitable
for all the guys, you’re excusable
slowly, but surely i’m losing my mind
got up early to prove that i grind with these worries
a birdy told me everything will be fine
by design, life is brief
what i do ain’t a crime, i still hurry
drew all these rhymes with my murky mind
moving a mile every minute, i’m certain i’m ruined
inclined to diminish the early signs upon observing lies
i have reserved my rise to cut and hurt your life
it takes a certain type to turn these words to light and take the words i write to recite into the mic
rehearsing hype, enter nights like a fight
while i’m cracked out like i’m burning pipe
i will lash out and that’s word to life
yeah, b_tch you heard me right
these types of flows tend to burn on ice
just like a furnace might keep me warm throughout the night
[hook]
drugs will drain you, love can’t save you
i may do the things you wish me not to do
now, isn’t that a b_tch?
i’m not the same as you
all of the pain, this picture that i paint puts all the blame on you
now you’re stained with the hues of shame and blues

[verse 2]
wearing my heart on my sleeve with the aim to bloom
into a phase of the painful truth
and from the rainbows to razor blades
upgrade to angels i may pursue with the intention to make ‘em do what i’ve been craving
i’ve waited for far too long
sit in the dark ‘till dawn
writing my darkest songs
dissolving and i can no longer evolve beyond my wrongs
the boy that i was and the monster that i have become
fill me up with enough hope ‘till i float and my emotions get numb
tear me up until i croak and i soak in the rays from the sun
papa’s got a brand new gun
papa’s got a brand new gun
looking for fun now, looking for fun now
you could lie to yourself, but don’t lie to me, b_tch
i’d supply you with help, but you’d rather deflect and deny what i felt like my pride when you trip
i devise a new spell to get by and get rich
this ain’t no sad rap
this is some “i’m going mad” rap
paint an image of the past like a flashback
snap back at anyone who attacks what i backpack
with all these tracks that tackle my sad past
rattle the cage to engage with you wack cats
making your grave from a trash bag
sway back and forth like a wave ‘till i hit it like blackjack
surpass the point, i’m extracting my voice to enact on my passion
a fact, i’ll destroy with a madness
my ploys to collapse them with joy
i’m a madman, i don’t know what happened
[hook]
d_d_drugs will drain you, love can’t save you
i may do the things you wish me not to do
now, isn’t that a b_tch?
i’m not the same as you
all of the pain, this picture that i paint puts all the blame on you
now you’re stained with the hues of shame and blues
shame on you

[refrain]
shame! (shame on you, shame on you)
shame! (shame on you, shame on you)
shame! (shame on you, shame on you)
shame! (shame on you, shame on you)

[verse 3]
kn_knocking, go peep through the window, i’m looking in
who is that at the front door? it’s the boogeyman
up to no good, my man
i am still fully ramped
over the span of a lifetime, i would be d_mned if i don’t get my rocks off
b_tch, i’m booking plans so i could top off this crooked stance
i have mistook your romance for a lifeline
took command, following trails like a sugar ant
shook up, i looked up
up at the sky with the look of a bleak darkness disrupting my mind
i would need more than good luck to recover my mind in the rubble and grime
sh_ts really complicated, i’m concentratin’
accommodate conflict with signs like a comic
i’ll shine like a comet and make this sh_t brine in a tonic of my will and lines that i’ve pondered
supplying this honor through concepts derived from my mind while i’m wandering time
nothing seems honest with wandering eyes
fodder that feeds my good conscience to rise and to conquer
your lies may take bites out my pride
feed the monster inside me
i’m somber, haven’t been sober in quite some time
no comment i’ll conjure
count that against my demise
countdown ‘till i cannot find
hope that could sponsor the sound of my social decline
until my soul intertwines with the flows and my mind with the goal to remind all you hoes that i’ve tried to be flawless
i harvest new motives designed by corrosive new grudges
the culprit to which i feel soulless
so p_ssed, you know this
i can’t even focus for one single second without an impulsive decision to choke this
pills are as potent as feelings that drove this ambition
to rope in my dreams on the loneliest mission
go hard on a beat ‘till my whole body’s feeling stiff
you do not know who the f_ck you are dealing with
all of my traumas so real, i’m still feeling it
all of your comments surreal, it’s not healing sh_t
i ain’t concealing sh_t, feels like i’m really sick
really ticked off and i need to flip off the whole world to be real a bit
take some more pills and sit off in the fog ‘till i feel the mist
or all my wrongs when dissolved and my spirit lifts
and i resolve all that’s caused me to feel like sh_t
f_ck if they’re feeling me
war born artillery, all my abilities carry me up
b_tches are k!lling me, can’t fall in love without getting f_cked up
but i really need someone to love, not to l_st
been revealing things no one could ever discuss without being mean
suicide, t can’t give up without feeling seen
all that i really dream of is someone i could hug and someone to lean on
i can’t go through a day without things seeming off
weaving and coughing
these screams through withdrawals got me thinking i’m sinking
i wish we could talk
but she left me a mess, while i left her a message for reasons id off myself
still feeling lost, there’s a reason i often yell
leave me in f_cking h_ll, while i still dwell on what should’ve been
reflect on the goon that i am and all of the things that i could’ve been

- 4ria lyrics

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