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156/silence - and everything was beautiful lyrics

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as i let my head hang down i can hear familiar whispers from the voices i grew to love, the ones i thought i would never miss
but instead i went ahead and proved to you how weak i was, i tried my best and tried to fight for as long as i could
from where you’re standing you can tell, i really didn’t try that hard, instead i took an easy way out
and tried to run from all of my problems, you know the way i usually do, my predictable actions meet intangible dark thoughts all mixed in this vat labeled “caution: i’m unstable”

and i’ll warn you all so many times just to hear the same reply of “it’s all okay, i’m sure it’s not so bad”
i promised them it wouldn’t take long at all to see who i really am or at least who i portrayed to be

i can sit here and throw out all of my problems
with simple excuses to pass the blame on to the unsuspecting
i had a routine and i never veered from it
i never took blame for my faults or my actions

i’m stuck in my mind, a self_contained prison
a tortured soul facing punishment as i’m left here with only my thoughts
can anyone hear me? if only i could show a sign of life
i promise i’m still here, i’m not leaving you

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